Life in this messed-up world

A New Beginning

2009-05-16T22:22:00.004+08:00

What's life like without God?

I have come to experience it in the last few months. I am not saying that I have totally renounced God from my life. I am not saying that I am ignoring His very existence. What I am saying is that for the past few months, I had not let Him take His rightful place in my life.

For the past few months, I had been rebellious. I had been deaf and blind. I had been stubborn. I had ignored God's promptings. I must have grieved His heart.

I can just picture it. There I was, living my life my way. And there He was, waving and beaconing to me. I heard Him. I smiled at Him and even waved. But then I went back to what I was doing before. He called again. I waved again. The cycle repeats but with each time, my smiles and waves got lesser. I was beginning to ignore His voice. I tried to face Him but I realised that it's getting difficult. I cried every time I try to talk to Him.

Living my life my way. Was I happy? Truth be told, yes, but only for a very short while. I began to miss God. But like the prodigal son, I was afraid to face my Father. The conversations I had with Him got lesser and shorter. I got lost. I didn't know how to handle things anymore. I got anxious easily, angry easily. My temper was very short. I flared up easily. I got irritated easily. I have lost myself. Without God, I don't know who I am anymore.

This is how life is like without God. Lost.

And now, I want to come back. I want to go back to my Father's arms. And I know He is there, waiting with open arms. Last week in church, I heard Him say, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. My love for you is unending." The very next moment, I heard the worship leader said, "God has promised each and every one of us that never will He leave us; never will He forsake us."

Thank You, Father God. Thank You for Your unending love. Thank You for Your grace and Your mercy. Thank You for the little assurances that You bring through people and things to reassure me that You still love me and still want me. So here I am, Daddy God. Here I am, rededicating my life to You. May I see You each day again. May I allow You to take Your rightful place in my life again. Lord, I need You. I really do. And please don't let anyone tell me that I am not Your daughter, because the truth is, I am Your daughter and You are my Father. Help me to live my life Your way. I want to love You more each day, Lord.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

Lost

2009-04-10T11:52:00.004+08:00

I don't know when.
I don't know how.
I don't know where.
I don't know when I start becoming so irritatable.
I don't know how I become so impatient.
I don't know where I lost the joy of working with friends.
I don't know when I lost that laughter of mine.
I don't know how to regain my jovial character.
I don't know that I am lost.
(Sorry, friends)

To the Garden Alone

2009-02-27T10:05:00.001+08:00

A song written by a fellow churchmate

A song that touched me once and brought me to my 'senses'
A song that has touched me again today

TO THE GARDEN ALONE

(A Ballad to the Lord)

Just as I am, without one plea

But that Thy blood was shed for me

Thou biddest me to come to Thee

O Lamb of God, I come I come

Just as I am, and waiting not

To rid my soul of one dark blot

To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot

O Lamb of God, I come I come

Chorus

To the garden alone

While the dew’s on the rose

His voice I hear, it’s falling on my ear

He walks with me, He talks with me

He tells me I’m His own

It’s a joy I’ve never known

Just as I am, though tossed about

With many conflict, many a doubt

Fightings and fears, within and without

O Lamb of God, I come I come

Just as I am, poor wretched blind

Sight riches, healing of my mind

Yes all I need in Thee to find

O Lamb of God, I come I come

Just as I am thou will receive

Wilt welcome pardon cleanse relieve

Because Thy promise I believe

O Lamb of God I come I come

Just as I am Thy love unknown

Hath broken ev’ry barrier down

Now to be Thine yea Thine alone

O Lamb of God I come I come

Chorus

To the garden alone

While the dew’s on the rose

His voice I hear, it’s falling on my ear

He walks with me, He talks with me

He tells me I’m His own

It’s a joy I’ve never known

Miracle-Maker

2008-12-13T13:20:00.004+08:00

My God is a Miracle-Maker. If I have to sum up yesterday in a word, it would be the word 'miracle'.

So many miracles happened, revealing the real-ness and awesome-ness of God. How can one ever deny something (or Someone) so real?

Myself
Horrible semester. Expecting horrible results. Hoping and praying for just a pass. But? Miracle happened. I got more than that. I didn't just pass. I didn't scratch the borderline pass. 'B' is my worst grade. I am still in the 'safe' zone. Thank You, God. Thank You so very much. You always always always give me so much more than I ask for, even when I know I don't deserve them.

Rachel
Downest moments. Going nowhere. Broke. Literally no money in her pocket. Gave her last coin away. No money to go home from Dhoby Ghaut. Walk home? Miracle happened. Kind total stranger offered to send her home. Her words: "I am nothing; I have nothing but I am crazy happy." (I said that too last year. "I am nothing; I have nothing but I know in Him, I have everything.")

Juan
HUGE blunder at work. HUGE. May cost her her job and may have to compensate a HUGE amount of money. Jobless then? Miracle happened. Problem resolved with NO compensation on her part, whatsoever. None, zippo. Isn't our God great?

Fen
Another problem at work. Courier lost important legal documents. Cannot find them. No backup copies. No way out. No way to solve it. Files gone forever? Miracle happened. Courier parcels found on the road, by HER OWN OFFICE PEOPLE, no doubt. What are the chances of that happening?

This is my God. The One who is ever so real, ever so faithful, ever so good, ever so loving, ever so forgiving... This is my God, my Father, my Salvation.

To end with what Fanny shared in DG...
My name is Jing Er d/0 the Almighty God (ie. my name is Jing Er, daughter of the Almighty God).
Affirming identity!

KTV

2008-12-06T12:44:00.006+08:00

My darling (Samantha la.. Not a guy) dedicated this song to me when we KTV-ed. So sweet hor... I actually did teared when you sang that song. Haha.. Thank God you two didn't see. If not, I will be suan-ed like anything.

Yup, darling. We are different. Yet we know each other so well. I love ya, darling.

A few days into the holidays

2008-11-27T00:57:00.010+08:00

A few days into the holidays, a few days after the exams and I am having so much fun... Did so much things.. Lemme just briefly say what I did.

Friday
Last paper. Went for lunch with Melzone and Sam after the paper. Finally could eat in peace. Had fun gossiping and updating one another with the happenings in our lives (me and Melzone). Great lunch!
Then went to DG in the evening. Went for supper after that. Surprisingly, Fanny joined us! What a rare thing sia... Haha... Took some pics cos Ah Bee insisted on tagging her in FB (btw, Ah Bee just joined FB. Sua Ku).

Saturday
Stayed at home cos Mum was sick. Had a bad flu. Sigh... Mum cannot fall sick one la. Everytime she falls sick, even a normal flu can become so serious.

Sunday
After church, went for lunch with the usual gang. Visited Bak Gong at the hospital. So scary. First time hearing Bak Gong falling sick. He looks so ... so fragile. Then met Shawn for dinner and ice cream (the one he owe me). Muahaha.. Ice cream. Love it! Took some pics with the Christmas lights too. BUT... looking at the pics, think I look super haggard sia. Think I haven't recover from the lack of sleep caused by the wretched assignments and exams. Hope my eyebags will vanish real soon.

Monday
Accompanied Sam to shop for her dress. Had a whale of a time, laughing, lame-ing and chatting. BUT... I dunno how but I managed to have a runny nose. Guess my nose decided to run away that day. That somehow spoiled my mood a little. But, I must say I had a great deal of fun despite feeling oozy. (But my photos looked shitty! Darn it!) Shawn met us after dinner to take photos. He was our caddy, photographer, entertainer, etc.. Thanks, Big Table! He and Sam always make me laugh. Pics here are some of my favourites (the rest in FB).

Tuesday
Stayed at home. Packed my room disguised as a pigsty, watched TV, FB-ed. Nothing much.

Today
Played badminton. What was I thinking?? Playing badminton with the NIE Open champion, when the last time I played it was 3, 4 years ago!! And non-stop for 2 hours somemore! Haha.. But had a great time (cos Shawn 'put water' a lot a lot a lot. Haha..) Feels great to sweat like that. Time to get my old bones rattle a bit.. Then dinner, then movie. Another well-spent day.

Wonder what the rest of my holidays will be like….

These few months of torture

2008-11-15T01:35:00.002+08:00

First times..

The very first time I felt so tired and drained cos of studying.

The very first time I had assignments due 3 days before exams and DURING exams.

The very first time I spent so much effort on my assignments and yet, got worse grades than the ones I did for the past few semesters (which I did last minute).

The very first time my friends actually had to calm me down cos I went hysterical during crunch time (I used to be the one calming them down).

The very first time I actually trembled while studying for exams.

The very first time I actually trembled as I walked into the exam hall (stupid phonetics!).

The very first time I kept whining in school, even to Ludwig.

The very first time I actually do look my age or even older (have u seen the size of my eyebags?).

Just 4 months and so many first times.

But thank God. This semester is ending. It's been a real torture.

Tired

2008-10-18T02:44:00.001+08:00

Tired.. I am really very very tired.

I've never ever felt like this before.

What makes it worse is that I do not know when all these will end.

Tired.. I am really very very tired.

So tired that I cannot even say what's making me so tired.

"Lord, I'm coming home."

2008-10-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

We can run from God in many areas in our lives, but sooner or later we grow tired of running. We can ignore a thousand altar calls, spurn a hundred invitations to church, resist a dozen friends who are trying to help us. But God devises means to restore us to himself.

He wants us to have peace, for His very name is Peace. He is the Prince of Peace who said, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (John 14:27).

He's waiting for you to stop running and to start trusting. You can remember, repent, and re-do. Today can be the greatest day of your life if only you'll bow your head, and say, "Lord, I'm coming home."

http://www.crosswalk.com/spirituallife/11573259/

After Recess

2008-10-01T02:51:00.009+08:00

~ After Recess Week ~

Back to school after recess week. Feelings of dread came upon me when I was in school. Thinking about assignment deadlines just add on to the dread. =(

Well, it is not so bad. Accompanied Sam in JP as she waited for Sean to meet her. As usual, with Sam, we took quite a few funny pics. Enjoyed myself in that 1 over hour. Laughing ourselves silly.

Then met Patrick and Shaun for makan again. Went to T3 for Popeyes & then ice cream at Swensen's. Fat fat fat....

Haha.. Ah well.. Maybe last week for me to slack. Will start to gambatte next week (hopefully!)

Words

2008-09-30T01:12:00.003+08:00

The power of words.

They can build and yet break a person.

They can heal and yet destroy.

They can bring happiness and sorrow.

They can cause love and hate.

They have positive and negative sides.

So why am I experiencing only the negative ones these days?

Door

2008-09-14T23:30:00.003+08:00

Sam Kuma was preaching in our church today again. He is a regular speaker. There were 2 things that he talked about which touched my heart. One is on good friends and the other is on doors.

I shall talk about the doors here.

Imagine Jesus is a guest in your home. You will show Him the prettiest and nicest places - the living room, the kitchen, the hall, the rooms perhaps. There will be at least one room that you do not want Him to see. Cos you know it is filthy. It is dark. It holds your deepest secrets. It is a room you do not want your Distinguished Guest to see cos it is not nice.

This is not the first time I hear this illustration. At this point, I thought to myself, "Well, there are many rooms I do not want Jesus to open and see. My skeletons in the closet."

A gentle voice in me seemed to say, "My dear child, I know what's behind those doors, even without opening. Yet, I still love you. Yet, I still want to come and stay with you."

God is universal, yet He chooses to stay in my heart.

Yes. Jesus loves me, whether I like it or not, whether I love myself or not. (This is a catchphrase of one of my fav preachers.)

He knows me inside out. I don't have to hide.

Thank You, Jesus. I love You and I want to put a smile on Your face everyday.

The happy child

2008-08-31T20:44:00.005+08:00

As you can tell, the happy child is back. =)

This is my nephew, Zack. Cute, isn't he?

Reflection

2008-08-24T16:58:00.004+08:00

Was told to do a reflection to 'demonstrate thoughtful and intentional inquiry into who you are,

how did you get there and who will you be.' It was a time of reflecting and think it is something worth putting here.

‘We are a product of experiences (Freidus, 1998, pg 51).’ How true that is. No one has the exact

same personal experiences in life and hence, no one is the same. No one was brought up the

same way as I was (perhaps my siblings but even so, their perspectives may differ). No one had

gone through exactly what I had gone through in my 25 years of life. Hence, I can dare say that

there is no one like Jing Er in this world.

Who am I? This is a question I had been asking myself growing up. I am born and bred in

Singapore and in Singapore, our future seems to be paved out for us the moment we are born.

The typical Singaporean goes through twelve years of compulsory education, then to pre-

university, then to university. Upon graduation, we work, get married, have children, work until

retirement, get our CPF and then we die. So much so that I seemed to have taken for granted

that that is my life too. I dared not dream. Dreams, for me, only happened when I slept or when

I escaped into the wonderful world of books. I simply followed what others told me to do or what

the current trend was. That was what happened to me in university. I got admitted to National

University of Singapore. In my past twelve years of education, my teachers were the ones who

helped me decide what was best for me. And now, for the first time in my life, I had to choose

what I wanted to study. I had no idea what I wanted and so I took up the most popular modules

then; economics and Japanese studies. My heart was not in what I was studying and hence I did

very badly. Coupled with other circumstances in my life then, I was forced to quit school in my

second year.

This led to what was probably the darkest period of my life. I had no idea what I wanted or

worse, who I was. It was then that suddenly my faith became such an important factor to me. I

had been going to church since young but I was nothing more than a ‘Sunday Christian’. This is a

term used to describe people who are at their ‘holiest’ on Sundays but on other days, no one can

tell that they are Christians from the way they behave. My faith in God brought me to my feet.

It brought me light. If not for God, I guessed I would have died many times. In this period of

searching for myself, I became more involved in the Sunday School in my church. I started to

teach the children there. I realised I enjoyed teaching them. I enjoyed being with children.

However, I was apprehensive at first. Do I really dare to influence such young minds,

considering how ‘messed-up’ my own life is? A poem I came across began to, slowly but surely,

change this mindset of mine. It is called ‘Our Deepest Fear’ by Marianne Williamson.

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond

measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to

be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so

that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We

were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in

everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do

the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’

With this mindset that I, no matter how insignificant I feel, can influence young lives and can

liberate them, I took up contract teaching. Those seven months of being a form teacher of a

Primary Two class and an encounter with a parent whose ADHD son was in my class affirmed

me that being a teacher was what I wanted. The revelation that the little insignificant Jing Er can

touch lives and somehow make their lives better led me to sign on the dotted line with MOE.

However, as much as I would like it to be, I have not lived happily ever after since. Teaching is

not a bed of roses. Those seven months of contract teaching and two stints of practicum told me

that. Teaching has many demands with its rigid curriculum, neverending admininstrative work

and overbearing parents. I can truly identify with Kohl as I did the Ayers’ reading. We, teachers,

seem to be ‘in conflict with the role (we were) hired to perform’, always having to deal with

‘meaningless textbooks’ and ‘the tightness with time’ (Ayers, 1992, pg. 39-40). Can I really be

the teacher I want to be? Or will I be the teacher I am forced to be? Kohl, who had found his own

teaching voice, proved that yes, I can be the teacher I want to be. But it involves hard work,

boldness and courage to do that as we have to do things differently. It involves me being able to

stand up to my beliefs and values. But can little old me do it? Will I be adequate enough to meet

my students’ needs? Will I be revert to the old Jing Er, who followed blindly the ways of the

world (in this case, the ways of the school I will be teaching in) and in the process of doing so,

conform my students to that as well? No! I will not! I have witnessed and experienced for myself

how terrible it is to have no dreams or aim in life. I will not subject my students to that. Ghaye

and Ghaye (1998, pg 37) believed that ‘at the point of career entry, student teachers need to

have a set of personally-owned professional values that they can articulate and defend, and

know how to respond in school when encountering others who hold conflicting and alternative

values equally as strongly as themselves.’ Indeed, having these values will help me make clearer

choices when teaching. They will act as a compass for me. I will not be lost like I used to be. My

number one value shall be this: I believe children should have a fun and happy time in class to

explore, discover and dream because it can serve as an escapism for them in response to their

stressful and mudane young lives, giving them an opportunity to discover for themselves who

they are and who they want to be. It sure is going to take a lot of boldness and courage to stick to

this value of mine as it is not the norm.

As Wigginton said, ‘…teaching became messier for him, harder work, more complicated and

contradictory, but it was also more genuine, more alive, and more honest, and therefore more

uplifting and worth doing (Ayers, 1992, pg 42).’ If being a teacher can make me bolder, stronger

and more alive, then a teacher is what I want to be. If I am able to be that, then I will be

liberated and my ‘presence will automatically liberates others’.

Thanksgiving. Favour.

2008-08-10T17:08:00.009+08:00

Thanksgiving. Favour.

2 words that woke me up from my 'slumber'.

Been lazy in seeking God for a few months. Used to be very fervent in talking to Him, seeking His will, doing His work. But as time went on, as more distractions came, I gradually began to forget God. Not that I had completely forgotten who He is, but more like I had forgotten that He wants to spend time with me.

I said before that I am my real me when I am in Jesus. When I 'soak' myself with Jesus, I am the real Jing Er. I can 'feel' it. I do not know how to put it into words, but I just know that I am the real me when I am in Christ, not the weakling Jing Er, not the insecure Jing Er, not the lost Jing Er, who seems to fail or stumble in almost everything she does in life when she relies on her own strength.

In His presence, that's when I am strong.

So why am I like the Israelities? We had seen the miracles of God and yet became so forgetful and did things that we ourselves thought were good. And gradually, we stopped seeking God in the things we do. Overtime, God seemed farther away in our minds.

'Thanksgiving' and 'Favour'. These 2 words were the theme for our DG on Fri. And these 2 words stirred me up once again.

Thanksgiving

Fanny told us to have a session of thanksgiving; to thank God for the things He has done in our lives. At first, I was thinking that I have nothing to thank God for cos I have not been spending time with Him much. But as more people shared, my spirit began to stir inside me. And I began to think of all the great things that God had done and is still doing in my life. So ungrateful am I that I have taken all these things for granted! So slow of me to give thanks! So blind of me not to see how blessed I am!

Favour

Then, Shaun began to talk about the favour of God. Yes, indeed. As I heard all DGians' sharings, we all really do have the favour of God. Shalyn - gotten a job so fast upon graduation. Juan - a job that caters to all her needs. Avoni - got through the auditions for a role she wanted so much. Eric - potential clients who called him on their own without him looking for them. Shaun - God's assurances whenever he needs it. Me - my school results, my answerd prayers and so much more...

Once again, I feel so much loved.

No doubt I have failed God again and again and again by not keeping my promises to Him. But hey, my God is more interested in me than my promises.

No doubt I feel guilty and can't bring myself to face Him. But hey, it is not because of who I am but it is because of what He has done. It is not because of what I have done but it is because of who He is. He is God, whose love and faithfulness never fails. He has died so I might be free to worship.

Today, in church, I whispered, "Who am I?" and I heard His voice replying, "You are Mine."

Yes, Father. I am Yours. I am a daughter of the Most High.

And I want to praise You all my life!

Patrick's 25th birthday

2008-08-08T11:42:00.010+08:00

Patrick's 25th birthday

Patrick, this post is for you.

May your 25th year be filled to the brim with blessings and happiness!

Shopping with the guys

2008-08-05T03:58:00.003+08:00

A weekend well-spent...

Did I mention that I love kids a lot?

2008-08-01T15:04:00.005+08:00

Did I mention that I love kids a lot?

A lot a lot..

Perhaps this is the reason why I am a teacher and a Primary School one at that.

Looking through the mission trip photos and videos. Saw this little boy that I fell in love with. He was the first one to come hug me when we reached their village and he clung to me ever since. Wanted so much to adopt him as my own son. Ha. Look at him. He's cute, isn't he? His eyes oozes innocence...

He is such a sweet little kid. I gave him extra chocolate. And instead of keeping them to himself as normal kids would, he shared them with his peers. So sweet.. Such a darling...

Did I mention that I love kids a lot? =)

My Weekend

2008-07-28T00:13:00.007+08:00

My Weekend...

Friday

Met Samantha to go shopping. Supposedly to be buying Grace's belated bday present. But deep in our hearts, we know we want to buy things for ourselves too. Haha! No choice. We are shopping addicts! But in the end, we bought nothing for ourselves!! So sad. But well, we had some fun time taking photos. Saw this exhibition on Heritage Trail in Suntec. Being the camera whores that we are, our cameras went a-clicking away.

The Trail is about Heros of Singapore. I smiled widely when I saw my idol's poster there - Elizabeth Choy. The strong woman I wish I am.

Here are the pics...

We came across this section where passer-bys were asked to write down who their hero is.

There is this huge wall of Post-its, with many people writing who their heros are.

And in the sea of these Post-its, I saw this and my heart skipped a beat. Wow.. Jesus, You are my Hero too. =)

Saturday

A quiet day for me. Went to have dinner with a friend and then on my way back, passed by the Woodlands Regional Library. Being the book-lover that I am, I decided to pop in since I haven't read any good books in a long while.

An hour later, armed with three books, a hot choc, my earphones and with music blasting in my ears, I settled at the cafe and made myself comfortable as I started reading my first book, oblivious to my surroundings. Ahh... The blissfulness of it.... How I long for more of such days. A good book and a hot choc makes Jing Er a happy girl. =)

Sunday

In church today. It was combined service. As usual, we had chicken rice for lunch. I had mine with Nana and Bud. After eating, I got out my camera and just took a couple of photos. Just a random act. Took with Hui En, the Ong sisters and Marcus. Looking at the pics now makes me feel old.

Hui En - the daughter of Chee Kin and Ping Xin. I watched CK and PX get together in their JC days, got married and now they are parents. Hui En will have to call me 'Aunty Jing Er'. Sigh.

Nana, Bud and Marcus - My Sunday School kids. I taught them when they were in Primary School. Now, they work hand-in-hand with me in mission trip.

Hiaz.. Time waits for no man/woman.

My Companions at Home

2008-07-24T21:39:00.005+08:00

Hong becoming a teacher

2008-07-23T17:08:00.003+08:00

This little sister of mine... Always following my footsteps... Same primary school, same secondary school, same junior college.. Now becoming a teacher like me..

Only difference? She is way much more smarter than me. Haha. Anyway, she just had her convo in NIE 2 weeks ago. Just want to say, "Hong, jia you. Being a teacher is not easy. We are moulding the future of our nation. But it is way worth it. Remember this, we are not history-makers. We are makers of history-makers. =) Go and mould some great future leaders!"

Photo Updates

2008-07-19T22:02:00.008+08:00

It's been a month since I last blogged. Time really flies.. In this one month, many things happened.. New hp, new friends made, new problems to deal with.. No mood to talk about them.. So just gg to post photos taken in this one month. :)

His Amazing Love

2008-06-17T22:15:00.003+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father,

thank You for today. You have been so great and wonderful to me.

I was on the train, on my way home, telling You, "Dear God, feelings of sadness are coming back. Please take them away. I don't want them cos they make me forget Your goodness. Restore onto me the joy of Thy salvation. That is what I want. Fill me with a joy that is no words can express, that is unreasonable."

I got down the train and took a relaxing road home from Admiralty MRT station. I was admiring the sunset and I remembered the sweet story I read about the girl talking to You about the clouds in the sky and how she would talked to You about them. Then I thought to myself, "How wonderful it would be to see a smiley face now. Ha.."

Oh Lord, U put into practice what I read in my QT last night. Psalm 139:1-4 You know my thoughts, actions and speech. You read my thoughts!

Cos the next instance I looked up at the sky, I saw this...

(If one looks carefully, it is a face. A smiling face. A face with a moustache. My hp camera is not good so I cannot capture the magnificence of the picture. You got to take my word for it. The eyes... They are so gentle. I will not be so bold to say that it is the face of God. But one thing I am very sure. It is a smily face. It is not as amatuer as I imagined it to be, like a =) But it is much more than that. It is maginificent. The eyes.. They are the focal point. So gentle, so sparkling. They are complete with eyebrows, 'eye-white' and 'eye-black'. I couldn't take my own eyes off them.)

Oh Father, thank You! Cos once I saw that, indeed I was filled with awe. I particularly stopped in my tracks and stood with my mouth open. I laughed. I ran up the nearest overhead bridge to try to take a good picture of it. No words came to me. This joy in me, no words can express. Even now, after a few hours, I still couldn't find the words to express the joy in me. I just can't. I am in awe.

Oh Father, this is how much You love me. I continued to look at it as I walked home, occassionally taking my eyes off to watch where I was going. It never left. My heart melted when I heard You say, "You wanted something solid to know you are loved. This is it. I love you. Remember the lesson I have been teaching you? 'Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find.' I love you. I will paint the skies for you."

Father, thank You. Thank You. You are just so awesome.

May I never ever forget this day. May I never ever forget how much You love me. May I never ever forget how great You are.

In the sweetest Name of all, Jesus' name,

Amen

You are All I Need

2008-05-19T02:05:00.001+08:00

Absolutely love this.

No matter how many times I watch it, I cried. Every single time.

I've turned myself in

2008-05-14T01:38:00.001+08:00

Turning Yourself In
David Jeremiah
Turning Point

There is no peace when you're on the run. If you're running from God, it's hard to have peace of mind. You can find momentary pleasure, but not inner peace; fleeting diversions, but not eternal joy; short-lived escapades, but not long-term happiness.

Maybe you're tired of being a fugitive from God. You may be at your wits end, but you haven't been sure where to turn.

You can turn your heart toward home. There's no sin God will not forgive when we come to Him in humble contrition; no shame He can't repair; no barrier the power of the cross of Christ can't demolish. Not even our stubborn addictions can withstand the forceful application of the blood of our Lord. He cleanses us from all sin.

But we have to turn to Him in repentance and faith. Returning to Christ is a matter of remembering, repenting, and redoing. Revelation 3:5 says, "Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works." If you've drifted away from God, remember the earlier peace and joy you experienced, repent of your wanderings, and come back to the simple steps of Christian victory.

Surrendering yourself anew to Him requires humility, confessing your sins and seeking reconciliation with those you've been avoiding. It requires godly sorrow, coming to Christ with contrition and earnestness; and determination, for Satan doesn't give up his prey easily. But if you will ask, God will give you the will and the ability to do His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).
When we return, we experience the joy and freedom that comes when we run into the arms of our loving Father.

It's easy to be in church and sometimes to be involved in the Lord's work, yet to be an inward prodigal. Millions of men and women have been greatly used by God after they returned to Him. In fact, those who repent of the deepest sins most understand God's greatest love and are best able to communicate it.

America's first missionary, Adoniram Judson, ran away from his Christian home in the 1700s. Entering Brown University at age 16, he befriended a deist named Jacob Eames. After reading Voltaire and the French philosophers at Jacob's urging, he told his parents he’d become an atheist.

Lured by tales from the American frontier, Adoniram saddled his horse and headed west. Travel weary, he got a room at an inn. He slept fitfully, hearing painful and desperate groans in the room next door, which made him wonder what his friend Jacob's view of fear, illness, and death was.

The next morning, he asked about the man in the next room. The proprietor said, "I thought maybe you'd heard. He died, sir, toward morning. Very young. Not more than your age. Went to that Brown University out East... His name was Jacob Eames."

The West suddenly lost its allure, and Adoniram turned his horse toward home. He gave his life to Christ and, shortly afterward, devoted himself to missions. On February 6, 1812, Adoniram Judson was commissioned as America's first foreign missionary.

How strange and true are the ways of God! One of the most comforting verses in the Bible is 2 Samuel 14:14: "(God) devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him."

He wants us to have peace, for His very name is Peace. He is the Prince of Peace who said, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (John 14:27).

He's waiting for you to stop running and to start trusting. You can remember, repent, and re-do. Today can be the greatest day of your life if only you'll bow your head, and say, "Lord, I'm coming home."

http://www.crosswalk.com/spirituallife/11573259/

It's been ages...

2008-05-12T01:32:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since I last blogged. Why? I can't really tell. Maybe no mood? Maybe nothing to write?

Perhaps it is PMS. Been feeling really down these few days. (Oh ya. Go ahead and blame it on biological reasons. The ultimate excuse for women for being bitchy.)

New environment. Perhaps a new life, a new beginning?

God, I need You to see me thru.

What am I talking about? He always has been. I was just too blind to see that.

My Father's Love for Me

2008-03-11T13:25:00.002+08:00

This past few days, weeks in fact, I am reminded of God's love through people's sharing, through people's blogs, through my bible-reading, through my prayers, through my seeking...

This entry shall be a summary of the love lessons I learnt. The ones that made a strong and huge impact on me.

Serene's sharing (a paraphrase):
"God's precious. It was just a normal MSN nick. But everytime JE talks about it, I realise the significance of it. What is the Chinese word of 'precious'? It is 'Bao Bei'. My family and I call our pet bird 'Bao Bei'. We just love the bird so much. We feed it, protect it, ensure it is safe and happy. One day, as I looked at it in its cage, it dawned on me that it has done nothing to make us love it so much. It just poops and does nothing, staying in its cage all day long. Done nothing for us, yet we love it so much that we call it 'Bao Bei' lovingly. It dawns on me that God is like that too. We are all His Bao Bei. We have done nothing to make Him love us. In fact, I believe all we know how to do is make a mess of ourselves. What have we done that makes Him love us? Nothing. But He just loves us. As simple as that. We are His Bao Bei, despite what we have or have not done."

An article I read (a paraphrase):
"People call me childish for calling God my Daddy God. I am a 40-year-old grown-up man. And yet call Him my Daddy God. Why not? Paul and Jesus did too. They call Him 'Abba, Father'. 'Abba', in the Jewish language' is an endearing term for 'father'. It is the equivalent to our present time 'Daddy'. So I am calling Him my Daddy God and that's that. He is my Daddy and I know He loves me and no one can stop me from calling Him that."

Anatastica (to Lester):
"God already knows what you need and what you want to ask Him. He just wants you to ask Him personally cos He wants you to talk to Him, your Father. Just ask Him and He will happily give you what you want. He is waiting for you to ask."

What I personally know in my spirit:
God is not a passive Father. He is active in pursuing me everyday. Waiting patiently and lovingly for me each day to talk to Him. No matter what I have done, no matter how guilty I feel, even if it is just false guilt, He is there. He is not waiting with a cane or a sulken face but waiting with a smile and outstretched arms. He is there waiting for me to wake up every morning and say 'Good morning, Daddy God.' Should I forget about Him and miss my daily appointment with Him, He is still there and will never walk out on me.

Small things, Big impact

2008-03-07T23:26:00.002+08:00

A look, a word, a smile, a rumour.

These 4 small things made a HUGE impact today.

A look ---
betrays my insensitiveness, selfishness and unknowingly, I hurt a child of God. I'm sorry, Father. I truly am. The thing that affects me most is not that I realise I am 'bad' in a way. It is also not so much as I hurt her. But what affects me the most is that, in doing this, I hurt God the most cos I hurt His child.

A word ---
that I said unknowingly, that I thought was just a causal remark, encourages a child of God. It is not just a simple prayer. The words I uttered were what God wanted me to say at that point. Thank You, Father, for Your amazing works.

A smile --
that I know he will catch and that he will know that I know. Just that simple gesture, a smile, will let him know we care and his Daddy God loves him and has not forgotten him, despite how far he may feel he is from God.

A rumour ---
that is spread that cuts me deep. A rumour that is not based on anything concrete. A rumour that made my heart sink to the very bottom of my heart. A rumour that makes me feel stupid.

The Kite Runner

2008-02-27T18:45:00.004+08:00

Finally got to watch 'The Kite Runner' yesterday.

Been wanting to watch it for a long while. As of yesterday, there was only a cinema (Cineleisure) left in the whole of Singapore screening it and there were only 2 timeslots - 3.10pm and 9.55pm.

My friend and I decided to catch the 3.10pm one. Reached the cinema at 3.00pm, thinking that since this show is those foreign kind where not many Singaporeans watch, since this show has been screened for almost 3 months now, there must be many seats left. In fact, I thought there would only be the 2 of us in the whole cinema theatre.

Imagine my shock when I saw on the screen at the box office that all tickets were sold out. My jaws literally dropped to the floor. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Went back at about 8.45pm, wanting to buy the tickets for the 9.55pm show. Imagine my shock again when i saw that the tickets were selling fast. I was praying while waiting for my turn to buy the tickets that I would get decent seats. Decent seats, not really. I got the LAST 2 seats! My gosh... I thought to myself. Is the show really that nice? Must really watch to find out.

And yup. 'The Kite Runner' was great. Completely worth the wait (from 3pm to 9.55pm). Completely worth the money I spent on shopping while I wait (ha..). Completely worth it. Or maybe cos my company was great as well. Ha.. Anyhow, those of you reading this, I recommend this movie to you. Great. But maybe you got to wait for the DVD cos I dun think it is screening anymore. Ha..

All in all, great day yesterday. Thank You, Lord, for the great company, great shopping, great dinner, great drink, great movie, great supper... Ha.. My waistline is getting great too... :(

Lamentations 3:1-36

2008-02-26T12:31:00.002+08:00

I love the version from the Message. It gives me a clearer understanding of what it is about. And while reading this portion of the Bible, I realise that the person written in it is me. I relate to this part of the Bible. As I said before, the Bible is personalised, for each one of us.

I've inserted the verses here and also some thoughts of mine in between in brackets. Hmm.. If you are reading this, I encourage you to read till the end cos the beginning can be quite depressing. Ha.

Lamentations 3:1-36
God Locked Me Up in Deep Darkness

1-3 I'm the man who has seen trouble,

trouble coming from the lash of God's anger.

He took me by the hand and walked me

into pitch-black darkness.

Yes, He's given me the back of his hand

over and over and over again.

(Yes. I've seen God's anger. I've sinned, time and again. But why does He do that? Why is He so harsh on me? Punishment? Isn't God supposed to be loving?)

4-6He turned me into a scarecrow

of skin and bones, then broke the bones.

He hemmed me in, ganged up on me,

poured on the trouble and hard times.

He locked me up in deep darkness,

like a corpse nailed inside a coffin.

(Yes. Darkness. I've felt that. I felt that I was in a dark box and felt as if I can never get out.)

7-9He shuts me in so I'll never get out,

manacles my hands, shackles my feet.

Even when I cry out and plead for help,

He locks up my prayers and throws away the key.

He sets up blockades with quarried limestone.

He's got me cornered.

(I cried out to Him but He didn't answer. Why? Cos I was asking the wrong things. I asked to have my problems solved. I was focusing on MYSELF. I want Him to forgive MY sins so I can feel better and then get on with life. I should be asking Him for Him instead.)

10-12He's a prowling bear tracking me down,

a lion in hiding ready to pounce.

He knocked me from the path and ripped me to pieces.

When He finished, there was nothing left of me.

He took out his bow and arrows

and used me for target practice.

13-15He shot me in the stomach

with arrows from his quiver.

Everyone took me for a joke,

made me the butt of their mocking ballads.

He forced rotten, stinking food down my throat,

bloated me with vile drinks.

16-18He ground my face into the gravel.

He pounded me into the mud.

I gave up on life altogether.

I've forgotten what the good life is like.

I said to myself, "This is it. I'm finished.

God is a lost cause."

(He made the pain of our wounds so unbearable that we were willing to do anything to break out of the bondage that tried to hold us. Even willing to give up the things that we hold so dear to which are also the very things that hinder us ffrom an intimate relaionship with God.)

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,

the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.

I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—

the feeling of hitting the bottom.

But there's one other thing I remember,

and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

(Oh, yes. I will never forget the darkness I felt. I will never forget the hopelessness I felt. But hey, for hope, I can turn to God because....)

22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

He's all I've got left.

(Amen. How true that is. God is love. It is His very nature. He cannot don't love. It is not 'God has love.' It is 'God is love.' And no matter how hopeless things are, I am clinging to Him cos He is all I got left whom I know will not fail me.)

25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,

to the woman who diligently seeks.

It's a good thing to quietly hope,

quietly hope for help from God.

It's a good thing when you're young

to stick it out through the hard times.

(Because help will come. I just have to seek. I just have to wait.)

28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,

go off by yourself. Enter the silence.

Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:

Wait for hope to appear.

Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.

The "worst" is never the worst.

31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever

walk out and fail to return.

If he works severely, he also works tenderly.

His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.

He takes no pleasure in making life hard,

in throwing roadblocks in the way:

(Ohh!! What a glorious and wonderful truth! He will not walk out on me!)

34-36Stomping down hard

on luckless prisoners,

Refusing justice to victims

in the court of High God,

Tampering with evidence—

the Master does not approve of such things.

Anastasia

2008-02-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

Today, in church, a newcomer sat next to me. She doesn't look Chinese, so I presumed she is not a local, a Filippino perhaps.

Talked to her after service. Found out she is an ex Muslim! And she is a local. A true blue Singaporean Malay! Oh wow...

Given that 99 per cent of the Malay population in Singapore are Muslims and people expect a Singaporean Malay to be a Muslim, she must have been given many queer looks and thrown many questions when she profess that she is a Christian.

She told me that currently she is staying in a hostel as her own family chased her out when she declared her belief in Jesus Christ. What pain she must have went through.

I wonder...

Every festive season, does she crave for her family? She must be very upset and lonely. Malays are wellknown to be grounded in family. Yet she has given up her family cos she wants to follow Christ.

When her family and friends scold her, ridcule her, how does she handle the pain? The pain must be so so great that she must be tempted so many times to give Chirst up and go back to her family. Yet she didn't.

When her family, her parents, her siblings plead with her to go back cos they miss her, does she turn soft inside and wants to give up? Yet she didn't.

She strives on. She is determined to follow Christ, despite the odds against her, despite the lack of understanding from her family and society.

She told us that her family told her that she will never survive outside alone. Her reply was "My living God will sustain me."

When I heard her story, I don't know what came into me. I felt such joy and excitement that I went around church, telling everyone I bumped into about her. Cos hey, I never thought I can know someone like that. I can't contain my excitement!

Oh, what faith! What courage! What strength!

As I am blogging this, it dawns on me that this woman here has lived out Luke 9:23. The verse I shared yesterday on my blog. Oh my dear Heavenly Father, is this what You are teaching me? I asked for strength, courage and faith yesterday to deny myself and take up my cross daily so I can follow You.

And today, You showed me a living example who has just done that! I have spoken, touched and seen such a person! She is not someone I read about or heard about. She is not a spiritual powerhouse, like Ruth Graham and Beth Moore. She is an ordinary Singaporean who has determined in her heart to follow an extraordinary God, You!

She has DENIED HERSELF, her own ethnicity. She is TAKING UP HER CROSS DAILY, her pains of hearing her family and race calling her a betrayer. She is FOLLOWING YOU.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank You for sending Anatasia to me today. I thank You so much for this soul You saved. What a powerful testimony! Oh wow, Lord. Wow. I thank You for showing me that I, too, can be as strong, as courageous, as full of faith. I can deny myself. I can take up my cross daily. Most imporantly, I can follow You! Oh God, You are so good to me. You know that my weak spirit may sometimes doubt whether I can do it. But today, You showed me, I can. I can. Thank You, once again. Yet another revelation to me today. Like what Dennis Lee prayed about me last Sunday, You will reveal Youself to me. Revelations will come to me. One had already came on Thurs. Today, yet another one. Jesus, I want to remember always how good You are to me. You have 'quiet me with Your love' Zep 3:17. I am stunned by Your goodness. Thank You, Abba Father. And now, I want to deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow You. Cos I know I can do it, by Your spirit.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

The Verse I Keep Coming Across Everywhere

2008-02-23T13:42:00.004+08:00

Luke 9:23-24

23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily,[a] and follow Me. 24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. (NKJ)

23-24Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. (The Msg)

Yes, isn't it so true? I really love the version from the Message.

I keep saying I want to follow Christ. But have I really been denying myself? If so, why do I keep wanting things my way? Why am I so persistent? Why can't I take 'no' for an answer? WHy do I go beserk when things don't go my way?

So Jing Er, deny yourself! If you are really determined to follow Christ, deny yourself! Let God lead! He is in the driver's seat! Hand the wheel over!

As I read this verse a few days ago (I was reading the NKJ version), I keep thinking to myself 'What does it mean to take up the cross?'

It says here in the Message version that it means suffering. Our pain. And we have to take it up daily. To me, this pain is my guilt, my shame, my past.

How to embrace that? Hurts like hell. Makes me want to hide when I confront my past. Makes me want to dig a deep hole and hide in it. But Jesus said that we shouldn't run from it. We should embrace it. How to do so? Well, the good news is that He doesn't tell us to deal with the pain alone. He said to follow Him and He will show me how. What a marvellous promise.

Dear Jesus,

I thank You for Your timely word to me. I thank You for sending Fanny to remind me that Your Word, the Bible, is the Number 1 Topseller in the world. And that it is a love story. It is a love story between You and me. It is not like the other love novels cos Your Book is the truth. It is personalised for me. I thank You so much for Your love. Lord, I want to follow You. I want to deny myself. I understand I have to take up my cross daily. Give me the strength and courage, Father. I know that You will not leave me alone in this quest of finding myself. You said that to find myself, my true self, I have to sacrifice myself. That is what I want to do. Father, I want to follow You. I want to. I really want to. You see this desire in my heart. Father, I want to pursue You like You pursue me.

In my Saviour's name,

Amen

Undo What I've Become

2008-02-22T17:03:00.002+08:00

Rush Of Fools - Undo What I've Become

I've been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

[Chorus] Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become I focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

[Chorus] Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You

[Chorus] Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

Pain

2008-02-21T18:53:00.002+08:00

Why is Mankind so wretched? Or is it just me?

I've come to realise that be it with God or without God, I will have to face pain.

Without God, obviously the pain is caused by the consequences I in my wretched self decide to do.

With God, the pain comes also cos of myself cos I am not willing to surrender my all to God. Pain in giving up things God wants me to give up.

Jing Er, why can't you realise that at least suffering pain with God has its rewards. I can experience the fuillness of God?

Lord, help me. Help me to say this 'Despite outcomes and circumstances, each day is for the Lord, not for me and that all I do must be for His glory. God promises to never leave me nor forsake me and out of love for Him, I must keep my eyes on the prize.'

I'm desperate for You again. Please fill me again.

17 Feb 2008 Sunday

2008-02-18T15:24:00.003+08:00

Sunday. Dennis Lee. What do I have? Altar call. Openess in my spirit. Wisdom. Revelations. God reveals Himself.

1 John 4:4

2008-02-16T12:04:00.003+08:00

Yesterday's DG sharing by Hong was good.

But it was something Serene said that sent goosebumps on my arms.

She shared with us a testimony she heard.

It was about a pastor who went for a mission trip. He encountered a demon-possessed person and he tried to pray for the person. The person rebuked, "It is only by prayer and fasting that you can do this!"

The pastor was stunned cos he didn't fast. He was feeling a bit crest-fallen when he had a sudden courage and impression to shout back to the demon, "I may not fast, but I have Someone in me that has fasted and prayed on my behalf for 40 days and nights!"

Oh yes. How true that is! I keep forgetting!

4You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
1 John 4:4

Dear Heavenly Father, help me remember this! That I may be weak, but the One in me is strong. That I may fail and succumb to temptations, but the One in me can rescue me. That I may be tired and heavy-laded, but the One in me has strength that will never fail.

I Wonder

2008-02-12T15:05:00.000+08:00

This blog entry is inspired by my sister's blog with the same title.

I wonder when my Abba Father looks at me, what is going through His mind (Psalm 139:17-18)?

I wonder when He sees me trying my best to do what pleases Him, what kind of smile does He has on His face? A wide smile, a goofy grin? In doing what pleases Him, do I bring a spring to His step, taps on His feet?

I wonder when He sees me doing things I shouldn't do, does He feel like coming down from heaven and tell me not to go that path of misery? And yet He has to endure the pain of seeing me suffer cos it is only through it that I can experience His mercy and grace.

I wonder when He sees me cry and struggle with life, does He feel like slapping the evil one for me?

I wonder when He sees me crying myself to sleep, does He feel like hugging me, patting my head, smothering me with His love and telling me things are going to be ok cos He is in charge?

I wonder when He sees me finding it difficult to come to Him cos of guilt and shame, does He feel like showing Himself to me, extending His arms wide and hold me and tell me that He has never condemn me?

Many things I wonder. But one thing I am very sure. He cries when I cry. He smiles when I smile. He laughs when I laugh. He loves me and only want the best for me.

Fight

2008-02-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

Again, Monica's blog entry speaks to me. Again, it talks about what is exactly in my heart.

Suit Up!
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9, NIV)

"Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil... Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand the evil day, and having done all, to stand." (Ephesians 6:10, 13)

The dreaded phone call came. My uncle had been in a serious car accident and his neck may be broken. No one likes to hear bad news and a child of God knows when it is time to go to war. I called a prayer warrior and we lifted my uncle up to the Lord. By the time we were done praying I was pissed. Yes, I used the p-word! The enemy had gone too far and I was done. He had messed with the wrong girl and touched the wrong family for the last time.

I got suited up last night and wore down the living room carpet one more time. (I've been thinking about buying new furniture, but now realize it would cover the path of prayer in my house.) Yes, I called on the Name of Jesus and asked Him to show Himself; to rain down on my uncle, the rest of my family, friends and myself. I asked Him to cover us with His Presence, His grace and His love. It was time for battle. I don't know about you, but I am ready to escort the enemy back to the pit of hell with no ice!

All of us go through times that leave us so heavy and burdened, worn out and weary. For the first time in my life I know joy through the love of God and I am not about to let the enemy take it away. God wants His children to know Him, His love and every promise He has made. It's time to take back, receive and give God glory for all that He is and has promised.

The war is on. If the enemy is on your doorstep, then suit up my friend. Be strong and courageous; it's time to fight. It's time for you to know the joy of the Lord. It's time to take back what the enemy has stolen. It's time to claim your victory in Jesus. It's time to remind the enemy that the battle has been won and he needs to back up and back off! It's time to let him know that he has messed with the wrong men, women and children. He doesn't get us or them because we have Jesus and greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world!

If you have no idea how to suit up or you have been suited up for so long your armor is worn, then find a friend, sister or brother in Christ to help you fight. If they are not available then it's time for you to muster what strength you have and stand in the Lord. If all you know is "The Our Father," then say it. If you only know one verse of Scripture say it. If you only know a few words to a hymn, sing it. If you don't know any Scripture, grab the Bible and read it out loud. If you can't get ahold of a Bible then repeat the Name that is above all Names - Jesus. Keep saying it, keep singing it until you can't speak, take a breath and start all over again. This is the last thing the enemy wants us to do and the most important thing we can do for ourselves and each other.

Today, put on the armor of God. Throw on the garment of praise. Be strong and courageous and when you have done all you can, be still and know that God can and will move your mountains for His glory and His children.

Suit up!

~ http://hisinvitation.blogspot.com/2008/02/suited-up.html

Rejoice

2008-02-04T14:38:00.000+08:00

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always; and AGAIN I say rejoice!

Defintion of rejoice:
(verb) feel or show great joy

Ohhh... God is just so great. He is just so great. Words fail me when I want to express my gratitude to my Daddy God. But I shall try my best!

Thank You, Daddy God, for:

Your amazing love and faithfulness for me
Your mercy (sparing me from what I rightly deserve) and grace (giving me what I don't deserve)
the little things that You use everyday to show me that You are beside me
my friends - funny, loving, supporting
my family - funny and crappy
my brothers and sisters in Christ - loving, supporting, reminding me of Your promises
unspeakable and unexplainable joy
answered prayers
privilege to worship You - meeting You face to face
Your Word spoken to me in so many so many ways
sending Your Son to die for me so that I can be FREE!

.... and so much so much so much more....

Something I read that warms my heart so very much:
"To say "God is here and everywhere" doesn't mean much, so I like to personalize the immanence of God. When we lie down at night and drift off to sleep, why not think of God as standing next to our beds, tucking us in by the divine presence? We can speak goodnight words, or when we open our eyes in the morning, God's face is smiling at us, and we can give thanks for the sleep. It gives me great pleasure to think of God being part of everything that happens in my life and being beside me wherever I go. "
~ http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/invadingprivacyofgod/

You have looked deep into my heart, LORD, and you know all about me. -- PSALMS 139:1, CEV

[Jesus said] "…I will be with you always, even until the end of the world." -- MATTHEW 28:20B, CEV

Dear Daddy God,
yes. I believe that. I believe You are just right next to me. I believe You love me so much. I believe You will protect me. I believe You want me to live out Your best. Thank You, Daddy God. Oh! My heart is bursting with joy for You. Let it overflow! Let this joy overflow from my heart to Your people! Let Your name be glorified! Daddy King, be the one sovereign in my life!
In the sweetest, lovliest name of Jesus,
Amen!

A Day of Victory

2008-02-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

Woh.. Sooo tired right now. Loonnngggg day today. But no tiredness will stop me from declaring God's goodness!

If I have to look through today with my tinted human eyes today, I would say that my day started horrible today. Was kinda upset cos I prayed before I slept last night that today will be a day of victory for me as I battle the evil one. (I have been fighting the thoughts he put in my head for days....)

:( Didn't sleep well. Woke up almost every hour. Bad dreams. These dreams were about the very things that disturbed me these past few days. The dreams came one after another, waking me up. Not a good sleep at all.

:( Saw an old friend whom I didn't see in a long time. Took the same bus with her to school. She updated me with some news I rather not know. And believe it or not, this news I heard from her was related to the very same thing that disturbed me that made me had the bad dreams.

Sad start of the day. I told God, "Daddy God, I still believe that today is a day of victory. I'm not the one fighting the battle, but it's You. And I know we will win the battle.

And you know what? Things started to look up from then on.

:) Saw Fanny's sms. She prayed that God's presence be so strong in my life today. (And it did! Thank You, Daddy God for this prayer Your daughter uttered for me!)

:) Friend told me the stipend is in. It's in early this year! Supposedly to be in in mid-Feb. Thank You, ABba Father, so much! Just when I need the money so so much!

:) Then came my sister's funniest, weirdest sms. Made me laughed out loud in the midst of my tutorial! The bad dreams, the news forgotten as I laughed. God took my frown away and replaced it with laugh wrinkles!

:) Then came my sister's prayer through sms. She prayed for knowledge and wisdom for me so that I may know God more. What a timely message. I really needed it then.

:) Boss sms-ed me. Pay is ready to collect! Not only does God give me the money I need, He give me extra!! How great is my God!

:) My friends in school. Saw and met up with many old friends whom I seldom see around school. Chatted and laughed. Had a great time.

:) Checked email in between lessons. Saw Monica's comment. I made a friend in America!! How great to see how God had used the two of us to encourage one another. Yes, Daddy King, Your kingdom knows no end! Your glory shines to the ends of the earth!!

:) Had DG. Again, fun and laughter. Eric brought a friend. Lester joined us. FULL ATTENDENCE!! So much fun and yet, in the midst of it all, God's word was spoken. His word reminded. What a great time.

Noticed something? God loves me so much. He 'compensates' my two :( with SEVEN :). He is just so so so good. He loves me so so so so much.

What a DAY of VICTORY!

Ok. Very sleepy now. Going to end this entry with what Fanny said that made a huge impression in me. "When you ask God to open your eyes, make sure you are ready to see what He shows you and be obedient to it. When you ask God to make you more like Jesus, make sure you are ready to make sacrifices to do what Jesus did. Love."

A Timely Reminder

2008-01-31T19:21:00.000+08:00

Thank You, Lord. I needed this reminder so badly. It came at the right time. Thank You so much.

It's 2 long chapters in the Book of Job where the Lord spoke to him. In summary, it is basically God reminding Job that He is the One who is taking care of all that is happening in the universe. And since Job was not the one doing it and couldn't comprehend how God does it, he was in no position to question or doubt God's work. The way God asked Job was really WOW. No wonder He said His word is like a double-edged sword.

Job 38
The LORD Speaks

1 Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

2 "Who is this that darkens my counsel

with words without knowledge?

3 Brace yourself like a man;

I will question you,

and you shall answer me.

4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?

Tell me, if you understand.

5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!

Who stretched a measuring line across it?

6 On what were its footings set,

or who laid its cornerstone-

7 while the morning stars sang together

and all the angels [a] shouted for joy?

8 "Who shut up the sea behind doors

when it burst forth from the womb,

9 when I made the clouds its garment

and wrapped it in thick darkness,

10 when I fixed limits for it

and set its doors and bars in place,

11 when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;

here is where your proud waves halt'?

12 "Have you ever given orders to the morning,

or shown the dawn its place,

13 that it might take the earth by the edges

and shake the wicked out of it?

14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;

its features stand out like those of a garment.

15 The wicked are denied their light,

and their upraised arm is broken.

16 "Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea

or walked in the recesses of the deep?

17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?

Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death [b] ?

18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?

Tell me, if you know all this.

19 "What is the way to the abode of light?

And where does darkness reside?

20 Can you take them to their places?

Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

21 Surely you know, for you were already born!

You have lived so many years!

22 "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow

or seen the storehouses of the hail,

23 which I reserve for times of trouble,

for days of war and battle?

24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,

or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,

and a path for the thunderstorm,

26 to water a land where no man lives,

a desert with no one in it,

27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland

and make it sprout with grass?

28 Does the rain have a father?

Who fathers the drops of dew?

29 From whose womb comes the ice?

Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens

30 when the waters become hard as stone,

when the surface of the deep is frozen?

31 "Can you bind the beautiful [c] Pleiades?

Can you loose the cords of Orion?

32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons [d]

or lead out the Bear [e] with its cubs?

33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?

Can you set up God's [f] dominion over the earth?

34 "Can you raise your voice to the clouds

and cover yourself with a flood of water?

35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?

Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?

36 Who endowed the heart [g] with wisdom

or gave understanding to the mind [h] ?

37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?

Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

38 when the dust becomes hard

and the clods of earth stick together?

39 "Do you hunt the prey for the lioness

and satisfy the hunger of the lions

40 when they crouch in their dens

or lie in wait in a thicket?

41 Who provides food for the raven

when its young cry out to God

and wander about for lack of food?

Job 39
1 "Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?

Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?

2 Do you count the months till they bear?

Do you know the time they give birth?

3 They crouch down and bring forth their young;

their labor pains are ended.

4 Their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds;

they leave and do not return.

5 "Who let the wild donkey go free?

Who untied his ropes?

6 I gave him the wasteland as his home,

the salt flats as his habitat.

7 He laughs at the commotion in the town;

he does not hear a driver's shout.

8 He ranges the hills for his pasture

and searches for any green thing.

9 "Will the wild ox consent to serve you?

Will he stay by your manger at night?

10 Can you hold him to the furrow with a harness?

Will he till the valleys behind you?

11 Will you rely on him for his great strength?

Will you leave your heavy work to him?

12 Can you trust him to bring in your grain

and gather it to your threshing floor?

13 "The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,

but they cannot compare with the pinions and feathers of the stork.

14 She lays her eggs on the ground

and lets them warm in the sand,

15 unmindful that a foot may crush them,

that some wild animal may trample them.

16 She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;

she cares not that her labor was in vain,

17 for God did not endow her with wisdom

or give her a share of good sense.

18 Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,

she laughs at horse and rider.

19 "Do you give the horse his strength

or clothe his neck with a flowing mane?

20 Do you make him leap like a locust,

striking terror with his proud snorting?

21 He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength,

and charges into the fray.

22 He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;

he does not shy away from the sword.

23 The quiver rattles against his side,

along with the flashing spear and lance.

24 In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground;

he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.

25 At the blast of the trumpet he snorts, 'Aha!'

He catches the scent of battle from afar,

the shout of commanders and the battle cry.

26 "Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom

and spread his wings toward the south?

27 Does the eagle soar at your command

and build his nest on high?

28 He dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;

a rocky crag is his stronghold.

29 From there he seeks out his food;

his eyes detect it from afar.

30 His young ones feast on blood,

and where the slain are, there is he."

As Iron Sharpens Iron

2008-01-30T14:01:00.001+08:00

Everyday I am just so amazed and awed by God's love for me. I cannot, just cannot, understand why He loves me so, but the truth is He loves me. ("You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.")

And knowing this truth has brought a smile on my face, a spring in my step, taps on my feet. (And mind you, I can do all these on a train ride. I noticed people start to notice me more on the train cos I am like a crazy woman, listening to mp3, smiling to myself, tapping loudly on my toes..)

And He shows me His love through so many, so many ways. Whatever He can use to show His love for me, He WILL use. And for the past few days, it was through His people.

~ Fong (Bless her, Lord, for her patience and understanding, her prayers and listening ear.)

~ Serene (Bless her, Lord, for her hug, her smile, her prayers and STRONG faith)

~ Ping-jie (Bless her, Lord, for her words on my blog)

~ Fen (Bless her, Lord, for her timely sms that brought tears to my eyes)

~ Lester (Bless him, Lord, for his encouragement. You see his struggles as well. Guide him.)

~ and Wee Teck (Bless him, Lord, for allowing me to share Your word with him. You see his fears and pain. Heal him and comfort him.)

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Dear Daddy God,
I want to love You. I want to love You through my actions, thoughts and words. I want to love You cos You love me so much. As Your daughter, I want to make You smile. I want to make You proud. Now, it is my turn to bring a smile to Your face, a spring in Your step and taps on Your feet. Daddy God, Abba Father, teach me to love. Not the love the world shows, but the true love that You so generously give. I want to reach for Your heart. Daddy God, thank You for listening to me, Your daughter's, simple prayer.
In the name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ,
Amen

Reaching...

2008-01-29T19:54:00.001+08:00

Yeah, Lord. I can feel Your power and spirit moving in me each day. Thank You. I want to be the woman after God's own heart. So I'm reaching for Your heart!

Come Holy Spirit fall on me now

I need Your anointing

Come in Your power

I love You Holy Spirit

You're captivating my soul

And everyday i grow to love You more

I'm reaching for Your heart

You hold my life in Your hand

Drawing me closer to You

I feel Your power renew

Nothing compares to this place

where I can see You face to face

I worship You in spirit and in truth

How Could Someone So Persecute Jesus!

2008-01-28T09:23:00.000+08:00

Lesson for yesterday and today: Self-will

Lord, I thank You very much for Your timely word. And I am sorry for letting You down.
Help me not to do it again.

My Utmost For His Highest
http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php?month=01&day=28&year=08
January 28, 2008
How Could Someone So Persecute Jesus!

Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? —Acts 26:14

Are you determined to have your own way in living for God? We will never be free from this trap until we are brought into the experience of the baptism of "the Holy Spirit and fire" (Matthew 3:11). Stubbornness and self-will will always stab Jesus Christ. It may hurt no one else, but it wounds His Spirit. Whenever we are obstinate and self-willed and set on our own ambitions, we are hurting Jesus. Every time we stand on our own rights and insist that this is what we intend to do, we are persecuting Him. Whenever we rely on self-respect, we systematically disturb and grieve His Spirit. And when we finally understand that it is Jesus we have been persecuting all this time, it is the most crushing revelation ever.

Is the Word of God tremendously penetrating and sharp in me as I hand it on to you, or does my life betray the things I profess to teach? I may teach sanctification and yet exhibit the spirit of Satan, the very spirit that persecutes Jesus Christ. The Spirit of Jesus is conscious of only one thing— a perfect oneness with the Father. And He tells us, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:29 ). All I do should be based on a perfect oneness with Him, not on a self-willed determination to be godly. This will mean that others may use me, go around me, or completely ignore me, but if I will submit to it for His sake, I will prevent Jesus Christ from being persecuted.

Trust

2008-01-25T22:20:00.000+08:00

Lesson for yesterday: Patience
Lesson for today: Trust

Lord, I don't trust myself. But I trust You. Please make this trust unwavering!

Deuteronomy 32:4

4 He is the Rock, His works are perfect,

and all His ways are just.

A faithful God who does no wrong,

upright and just is He.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 12:2

2 Surely God is my salvation;

I will trust and not be afraid.

The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;

He has become my salvation."

Daniel 6:23

23 The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den.

And when Daniel was lifted from the den,

no wound was found on him,

because he had trusted in his God.

Romans 8:26-27

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

We do not know what we ought to pray for,

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

27And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,

because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Patience

2008-01-24T19:39:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I talked about the moulding process. As I re-read it again today, it sounds quite depressing to me. Ha.. But even though my flesh is hurting, my soul is rejoicing cos I know God is orchestrating the whole thing. My God allows me to go through it cos He wants me to be the person He has created me to be. My heart says, "Blessed be Your glorious name!".

I was reading this blog and it striked me. Not going to say anything much. Just let the words be self-explanatory.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you." 1 Peter 5:10 (Amplified)

For a puny amount of time, just briefly, perhaps even a season, God says you will experience a painful sensation or feeling-- a vexing, passionate suffering. (JE: Hey! That's what I felt! Vexing!) After that time, God will take you in your brokenness and mend you to make you perfect.

He will lay your foundation and settle you. He will increase your strength and vigor, building you up in both spiritual knowledge and power. The LORD will cause you to stand in covenant power. He will turn you resolutely in the right direction, setting your feet fast, confirming you as His own.

~ http://www.crownlaiddown.blogspot.com/

Well, I know for sure I am in the right direction. The journey of my lifetime starts now. So from this day forth, let me blog each day on the lesson God is teaching me that day.

Today, I know for sure that God is teaching me this lesson: Be still and know that I am God. Something happened today that makes me realise I need to change that impatience nature of mine. Impatience had led Abraham to conceive Ishmael, who became a snare to many. Impatience can hinder the work of God. So I think God is showing me this and He wants me to be still and know He is God.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank You for the lesson learnt today. I thank You so very much for loving me and correcting me, so I can be what 'I ought to be'. Thank You. Lord, give me peace in my heart. Make me trust in You and be still and know that You are God. Make me let You be You. Patience - if that is what You want to teach me, then I want to learn this lesson. Forgive me for my impatience. Forgive me for being quick to speak. Father, mend me in my brokeness. Let me allow You to mend me, Daddy God cos You are so worth it. :)
In Jesus' sweetest and most powerful name,
Amen

The Little Things

2008-01-23T17:09:00.001+08:00

He spoke to Jing Er today AGAIN.

I know, at this moment of my life, God is training me, moulding me to be the person He has created me to be. There is no doubt on my mind that He is doing that right now. He has shown me so many, so many signs.

I've waited a lifetime for this. Finally. To experience the fulless of Him. To truly live my life for His glory.

But hey, the moulding process hurts very very very much.

To be filled with Him, first, He needs to remove the scum I stupidly filled myself with. He needs to dig out the things I don't need but has accumulated and kept in the inside of me. To do that, He needs to dig into my innermost part and get them out. It Hurts!

Then, He needs to remould the clay I am. Kneading and pounding. It Hurts!* (Inspired by 'The Teacup Story)

Then, the wheel; then, the oven; then, the fumes of the paint; then, the oven again. Hurts, hurts, hurts!!

And today, I can feel the effect of the moulding process. By the things I am facing today, I think He is removing the scum in me. Past memories, past failures crept in so much today that I can feel the physical pain in my chest.

But yet, how can I give up now? I know the process is still long. Maybe I am still a long way to go to become that person He has created me to be. But how can I give up now?

After knowing that He has rescued me from the pit, after knowing He loves me so much, after knowing He pursues me for so long, how can I give up now? I am on the right journey already. How can I give up?

Furthermore, I know it is worth it. I will see the fullness of God once I'm done. How can I trade that for anything else?!

And you know what, God doesn't just sit there and watch me 'suffer' at the wheel or oven. He feels my pain, He speaks to me gently, He comforts me, He cries with me. He doesn't leave me alone. And how do I know that? Cos I experienced that today. It's in the little things.

#1
My mind wondered to the deepest pit today again during class. Was feeling tight-chested again when suddenly my tutor said something that woke me up. "The PRIZE is worth the PRICE." Yes, Lord. Indeed. The prize is so much greater than what I am giving up (or rather, what I am forced to give up).

#2
For some reasons, I was alone in the library, studying. Depressed cos alone. Thoughts crept in again. Then, I looked at the sky and told God, "God, I am not alone right? How come I feel alone? If You want me to know that I am not alone, can You let someone sms me on my silent handphone?" 2 minutes later, Grace sms-ed me. 1 minute later, Juan sms-ed me. Though not specifically to give me the warm, fuzzy feeling of love, at least God sent those sms-es, just like what I asked.

#3
I asked God something. Not convenient to say what here. His answer came to me unexpectantly very strong and loud. Ashamedly, I doubted. Cos I dunno if it was just me or God. Went home, checked. Really as the voice said. I realised it was really His voice.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.NIV

Psalm 147:33 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.NIV

Heb 13:5"Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you."NIV

Jer 29:11For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.NIV

Psalms 30:11-1211 You turned my wailing into dancing;You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 12 that my heart may sing to You and not be silent.O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever. NIV

John 14:1818 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. NIV

Phil 3:8-9What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in HimNIV

1 Peter 5:77 Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.AMP

Rom 5:2-53 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.NIV

Matt 11:28-3028 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."NKJV

Heb 4:14 That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. NLT

Eph 1:3-64 For He chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love 5 He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will-NIV

Will tomorrow hurt again as I am being moulded again? I don't know.

But one thing I know, Jesus will be with me.

Radical

2008-01-22T20:23:00.000+08:00

Radical - I came across this word many many times today. Be it in other people's blogs that I read, in the few devotionals I read, some articles. Is God trying to tell me something?

I first came across this word a few weeks ago in the updated version of a book called 'Radically obedient, radically blessed'. I told God I want to be radically obedient for Him.

And today, He showed me this word again.

According to the Oxford Dictionary,

radical
• adjective 1 relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something.

And what is the fundamental nature of God? LOVE!

So, I think this is God telling me that I have to be obedient cos of love, His great love. That's right, Lord! Not out of duty, not out of hoping to be blessed but cos I love You and You love me.

(Look at how I look like at home! I think only my Heavenly Father will love me unconditionally with me looking like that!)

I've waited a lifetime for this, Lord

2008-01-21T18:52:00.000+08:00

Lord, I've waited a lifetime for this - to see You face to face!

My friends, this is the song. I know it in my spirit that this is the song that defines the turning-point in my life.

All I Want Is You

Verse 1:
I’ve waited all my life to be here face to face
I never knew that I could feel this kind of grace
The way You show me that Your love has washed me clean
Could never be erased, It lives inside of me

PreChorus:
Take me to that secret place
Where I can only see Your face
And nothing else will ever feel this way
You take away my guilty stains
The things I’ve done that I can't change
Its only by the power of Your name

Chorus:
I stand here in this place, see the glory on Your face
Taken by the wonder of Your name
I’m desperate for Your touch, never needed it so much
‘Cause all I want is You

Verse 2:
When all the things around me have fallen to the ground
I’m always thankful for the love in You I've found

Bridge:
All I want is You, All I want is You

(The video takes a while to load. I don't know how many people will actually view it but I do know for sure that this is my song for God.)

His Love

2008-01-21T18:25:00.000+08:00

His love, His love... Has rendered me speechless.

How mighty, how powerful, how everlasting, how unfailing, how unexplainable, how encompassing....

No words.. I am left with no words...

A whole week

2008-01-20T19:25:00.001+08:00

It's been a whole week of struggling and fighting with God and myself.

Spent my whole Sat seeking God, begging for forgiveness. Felt no comfort. Still a tight tug in my heart. As I was on my knees, a voice came to me "Are you asking Me for forgiveness or are you just trying to make yourself feel better?"

Stunned, cos in my heart, I knew I was trying to make that guilt in me go away. It was about me and not about God. It was about making me feel better, not asking God to have mercy on me. Then, a friend told me, "If you are asking for forgiveness, you have gotten it."

It was then that I knew I was forgiven but the guilt in me remained. I don't know how to make it go away. 'Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. (James 4:17)'. This is the definition of sin. By this defintion, I have sinned. I sinned against the Lord. And sin separates me from God cos God is holy.

But He has not forsaken me. The wall is there cos of sin. Not cos He was angry with me or turned His face from me. I went to sleep, troubled, telling God I have to experience Him soon cos without it, well, life kinda sucks.

Today is Sunday. On the train, on the way to church, I was listening to my mp3. There was a line in Planet Shakers' "All I Want is You". This line became my heart's cry. "I'm desperate for Your touch. Never needed it so much." I told God that that is my heart's cry. I need Him to touch me. Then I went on to pray for today's service. That we C4 wants to be like Moses. We want to see His glory. Cos only in worship, we will meet Him face to face.

And then, service starts. So watcha think? Did God touch me?

Of cos He did. I mean, Jing Er, of all people should know that God hears and answers our prayers. I mean, if His children begs God their Father to show Himself to them, do you really think He will not do so?

Pastor Amos led worship. The impact of each song was like a ball of love hit me.

1st: "Blessed be Your name."
Good times, bad times, still I have to say blessed by His name. cos that's what He is. Blessed. Still great and wonderful. He gives and takes away. But my heart will choose to say 'blessed be Your name'.

2nd: "One Way"
With lyrics like that, how can I still doubt that God was touching me?
"I turn to You and You are always there. In troubled times it's You I seek."
"You are always, always there. Every how and everywhere. Your grace abounds so deeply within me. You will never ever change. Yesterday today the same. Forever till forever meets no end"

3rd: "You are so Faithful"
"Like the sun that rises everyday, You are so faithful."
Wana know why it impacted me? Read the bog entry before this. 'nuff said.

4th: "Through it All"
"You are forever in my life. You see me through the seasons."
He has never left.

5th: "I Simply Live for You"
Why this song impacted me? 2 reasons.
1) Cos it is my fave song of all. "You bind the broken hearted and You saved all my tears. By Your word, You set the captives free."
2) 'As the glory of Your presence now feels this place, In worship We will meet You face to face." My words in my prayer. God is telling me that His glory is shown to us C4. We meet Him face to face.

So, did God touch me?

Yes, very much so.

Thank You, Daddy God.

Look Up

2008-01-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

Jing Er, My dearest daughter,

Don't look down anymore.

Look up.

See the sky? Isn't it beautiful? It is made by Me, not interfered in any way by man. Look at it and remember that I make beautiful things and that includes you.

See the sun? Doesn't it rise every morning without fail? Look at it and remember that I am faithful.

See the birds in the trees? Do they worry what tomorrow brings? They don't because I am taking care of them. Look at them and remember that you are worth much more than a sparrow.

Look at my creation and see that I am always with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I love you.

So, stop looking down at the ground. It has nothing for you but dirt and sorrow. Look up and see that I love you.

~ your Daddy God

I sound like a broken record

2008-01-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

I sound like a broken record..

But still I must say, God is good.

If I look at the circumstances that face me, if I look at things happening around me, I think it will be hard for me to say that He is good. But everyday, He is teaching me to look at Him instead. And indeed, things grow strangely dim when I do that.

'It' has been bugging me all day long. 'It' invades my mind at most innocent times - in the midst of lectures, in the midst of chatting with friends. But His grace is sufficient for me. Thank You, Jesus. Really thank You. Where would I be without You by my side. :)

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (New International Version)
8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Today is such a wonderful day

2008-01-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

Today is such a wonderful day.. 5 things that make me say this.

Began the day sleepily. Haven't woke up so early for a long time. First day of school! Kinda excited though. Went to school with Hong. Glad to spend some time with her. Though we didn't talk much, but having my sister's company made a beautiful morning even more beautiful. Thank You, Lord!

Then, I got my presents! Birthday presents, Christmas presents. Brought a HUGE and heavy bag home. So many presents!! Love all of them. What a way to start the first day of school. Thank you, Samantha, Grace and Peiling! And thank You Lord for the love of friends!!

Next, quite sian cos 6 hours of break in between lessons in all. But admittedly, tired as I may be, I had tremendous fun. Grace bought me a game set for my birthday. We played with it. Had 11 games inside. Laughed and laughed the whole time. Was very fun! TIme kinda flew by just like that. Thank You, Lord, for the joy of friends!

Well, insecure and sad feelings, doubts n hints of depression did invade my mind unsuspectingly at times and I am ashamed to say that I let them dwell in my mind a tad too long. But all I can say is God is good. His grace is sufficient. The minute I told God to take control of my thoughts, peace that is unexplainable washed over me. Well, He did promise peace to us all (John 14:27)!

And most importantly, God spoke to me today. It wasn't a grand revelation or anything. It was just a causal, sweet conversation. He was telling me that He loves me, that I am never alone, that all He does (even when I don't understand) is the best. (Those who were wondering, it wasn't an audio conversation. It was enabled by the Holy Spirit. Somehow, you just know it when He is speaking to you. Like today, I gazed at the sky and was speechless and overwhelmed. God is beautiful and He makes beautiful things.)

And also, I have been reading blogs of women whose sole purpose in life is to be radically obedient to God. I am tremendously blessed and encouraged by their lives. God is good. Read this quote on one of the blogs:

To look around
is to be distressed
To look within is to be
depressed.
To look up is to be
blessed.

How true it is.

To look around is to be distressed. (I did got a bit sad when I saw Peiling n Henry and Zoie n her hubby)
To look within is to be depressed. (I look at the things I did in the past and got depressed)
To look up is to be blessed. (I look and focus on God and things got strangely dim.)

I love You so much, Daddy God. Love Ya, love Ya, love Ya! (maybe some people will feel that I am childish in expressing like this. But I think it will bring a smile to Your face, Daddy God. Like King David said, "I'll become even more undignified than this.")

My Soul

2008-01-06T20:51:00.000+08:00

My soul..

Last week, it was during thanksgiving service on Sunday and the spiritual ambience was so sweet and powerful. I remembered very clearly I told God this: "Lord, this is the real me, isn't it? The Jing Er that You have in mind when You created me. The Jing Er whose main sole purpose is to worship You, to kneel at Your throne and gaze upon Your beauty. The Jing Er whose eyes are on You all the time. This is my soul, is it not? The soul that is untainted by the fallen world."

Oh, woe is me when I got out of Your courts and got thrown into the world again. Feelings of insecurity, negative thoughts, selfishness came rushing to me like nobody's business. I did things I know I shouldn't be doing. I pissed people I care about. Oh, woe is my flesh! Why are you above my soul! My flesh, this is not the real Jing Er. My soul is! Indeed! One day in Your courts is better than a thousand days outside!

But I thank You, Lord, that Your grace is sufficient for me. You are just so amazing beyond words. Your love for me is so overwhelming. I promise You in this year, I will do my utmost in putting my soul on. I will honour You in all I do. Not about me, but about You. This year, I want to make You proud. This year, I will say 'yes' to my soul and say 'no' to my flesh.

The One Talent He gives Her

2008-01-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

Stumbled upon this blog a few days back. Love the stories this child of God came up with.

Saw her profile and I cried.

"His Handmaiden
Some says God is real, some says God is not. Some asks me, "Dear XXX, do you think God is real or not." I laugh and I smile, and I give them no answer, what a foolish question to ask me, when God talks and walks with me, everyday of my life. I am puzzled by the people, looking at them, I stand amazed, why are people trying so hard to prove or disprove someone that is just beside me all the times. True, I cannot see His face. True, I cannot touch His hands. But I thought I can feel His heart beating every single moment of my life. When I am sad, I feel He is sad. When I laugh, He laughs with me. When I am scared, He says, "Hush, don't fear." When I am bad, He is not afraid to discipline me. But no matter what, God is just there besides me, like a Father, like a brother, like a friend, a master and a husband, every moment of my life. And I think I know Him even if I do not see His face, I can feel He is there with me, every moment, indeed! "

The following is her first entry in her blog. Worth reading as it reminds us of how real n loving He is...

East Coast Park was the place she loved to go to. Evening was her best friend. She always visited East Coast Park with him. It was when he was doing his round that East Coast Park always had a bench that no one would sit in.There, sitting quietly alone, she would gently reflect about life and spent her time together with God.

Today was her birthday. But no one remembered it. No one bothered to.

She was not a popular girl. She was never a popular girl.

She was not a pretty girl. She was never pretty.

She was not a wise girl. She was never wise.

She was not a talented girl.

God is good, she was absolutely sure He is so, but somehow, in making her, He must have accidentally forgotten to give her a talent.

“Nobody remembered my birthday, Lord.” Xiao Hui uttered sadly, in sorrow.

She could feel the Lord just sitting beside her on the bench as they watched the sunset together.

“Not me. I remember.” It was a gentle whisper.

“Thank you,” replied Xiao Hui with a smile, a forced kind of smile.

Her heart was comforted by the Lord's love for her, but it was still sad over the fact that no human being remembered her birthday.

“See, I make you a birthday cake.” The same gentle whisper.

The cloud in the sky did appear to look like the shape of a cake.

Xiao Hui laughed, “Too bad I can't eat it, Lord.”

She could feel the Lord laughed together with her.

“You can, one day, when you come home to me. I guarantee you it will be the tastiest cake you will have ever eaten.” The Lord spoke in an assuring manner.

“I will love to taste it, dear Lord when I get home,” replied Xiao Hui.

She knew her Lord will never lie to her.

She could feel the Lord smiling with joy even as she said that. Her faith in Him was what always pleased Him most.

“I was not selected for the mission team, my Lord,” Xiao Hui said, sadly.
“They said I had asthma.”

“I know,” the Lord replied, gently.

“I was also not selected for the church's choir, my voice was not in harmony with the rest of the team,” said Xiao Hui with a sigh.
“I did my best to fit in.”

“I know,” said the Lord, gently.

He was a good listener. There was the best thing about Him. He always listened before He spoke. He was very patient.

“The ushers' team had too many people, so it did not want me, either.” A tear fell down the eye of Xiao Hui.

“I know,” said the Lord, quietly. He placed an arm of His around the sorrowful girl.

“Nobody wanted me,” said Xiao Hui in a sad tone.

“Not me. I wanted you,” said the Lord, gently, still as patiently as ever.

Xiao Hui smiled, “Thank you, Lord.”

It was getting dark. The sun was almost nowhere to be seen.

“My Lord, I feel so much better, now. Thank you so much for being here with me,” said Xiao Hui with sincerity. The Lord smiled. Not many people remembered to thank Him for what He had done.

Xiao Hui got off her bench, walked to a quiet spot where no one was watching and fell on her knees. There, she began to pray profusely for God to help her church in every endeavor it was in, for God to look at the needs of the lonely and unwanted in society and for her entire nation Singapore to come to know the Lord, one day.

The Lord smiled as His hands prepared to move.

Blessings

2007-12-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

A group of salesmen went to a regional sale convention in Chicago. They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner.

In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table whichheld a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding.

ALL BUT ONE !!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings, and experienced a twinge ofcompassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned. He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

He was glad he did.The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight. The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display.

As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?" She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?" He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered.

Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?" Do people mistake you for Jesus? That's our destiny, is it not?

To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace. If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day today.

You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

The song that I fully comprehended today...

2007-12-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

Worthy is the Lamb - Hillsongs

Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

I called and You answered. You came to my rescue.

2007-12-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

COME TO MY RESCUE
Hillsong Music Australia

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord, all I am is yours

My whole life I place in Your hands
God of Mercy humble i bow down
In Your presence at Your throne

I called, You answered
And You came to my rescue and i
Wanna be where You are

In my life, be lifted high
In our world, be lifted high
In our love, be lifted high

This is a song I came to know about recently. And how true it is. I called and He answered.

Me - little old me. Little, unworthy, minute me.
But He, the King of Majesty, the God of creation, answered me and came to my rescue.

And today, the 16th of Dec 2007, I experienced that to the full extent.

It seemed to me that whatever I asked for today, I got it. Whatever I called out to Him about, He answered. The big and small things. Some too personal to write here. But take my word for it. I did get what I wanted. Even things that I thought were small and insignificant and it was just "God, please give me...." and He gave them to me.

16th Dec 2007. Jing Er, rememeber this day cos today God revealed to you more of His love. (Just when I thought I had experienced the wonderful full extent of His love, He showed me that that is not all of His love.)

Thank You, Daddy God.

Ah Gong n Por's 80th 'Big' birthday..

2007-12-08T02:57:00.000+08:00

I realise my blog is very 'dry' with so many words.. So I decide to put some recent photos.... Not very recent though.. Almost a month old... Ha...

Empower me

2007-11-30T11:51:00.000+08:00

Empower MeClaire Cloninger, David T. Clydesdale

Nobody knows how weak I am,
better than You;
Nobody sees all of my needs,
better than You.
And nobody has the power to change me,
from what I was born to be.
Jesus be strong in my weakness,
empower me!

Chorus:
Empower me, like a rushing river
flowing to the sea.
Lord, send Your Holy Spirit
flowing now through me.
Till I'm living as Your child,
victorious and free,
send the power of Your love,
empower me.

Verse 2:
Nobody's eyes see through my soul,
better than Yours;
Nobody's love can make me whole,
no one but Yours.
And nobody has the power to lift me,
to reach for eternity.
Jesus break through all my defences,
empower me.

The Divine Discipliner

2007-11-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

Week of November 26
Devotional 48
The Divine Discipliner

I grew up in a time when most parents spanked their kids. Some of the spankings my dad gave me probably would be labeled as physical abuse today. A strict disciplinarian in many ways, Dad demanded the same behavior from us all. It worked on me. It didn't work on everyone in our family.

Dad thought he was dong the right thing. His methods seemed harsh then; now that I'm grown they still do. I wish he had been a kinder, more gentle soul. Sometimes I felt his beatings were more to vent his own rage than they were to correct me.

Although I don't agree with my father's methods, I must conclude that, whether we like it or not, we need discipline. All of us do, and we need other authority figures besides parents to teach right and wrong and enforce these views. We need neighbors and teachers to nod approval or shake their heads when we go contrary to commonly accepted values.

If we grasp this need, we can understand God the Holy Chastiser. How we view this aspect of God depends, I suppose, on our childhood. My tendency in the beginning of my Christian experience was to see God as the Big Whipper, who pounced on me for the slightest infraction. As I learned more about God, I began to see the kinder side.

Still, the Holy Chastiser has been part of my growing experience. When God disciplines me, I can resent it (and I have!); I can rebel (guilty again!); or I can say, "Thanks, God, I needed that" (I'm learning).

In Hebrews chapter twelve, the writer brings out the concept of the Divine Discipliner by using human examples. His readers were those undergoing persecution and hardship, and (surprise!) they didn't like it. He writes: "So keep your mind on Jesus, who put up with many insults from sinners. Then you won't get discouraged and give up. None of you have yet been hurt in your battle against sin. But you have forgotten what the Scriptures say to God's children, 'When the LORD punishes you, don't make light of it, and when he corrects you, don't be discouraged. The LORD corrects the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own.' Be patient when you are being corrected" (Heb 12:3-6, CEV)!

There we have it. God corrects us for our good In theory, we know that true disciplining is an act of love. Hebrews says children learn by correction, even if the parents are imperfect in their knowledge and wisdom.

I'm a parent and I've been a child, so I can view this from two perspectives. When I functioned at my best, I disciplined my children because I had the maturity to see the consequences of their actions. I recall the time when my then-three-year-old daughter C-C and I stayed overnight with some friends. When we got into the car the next morning, I realized that she had taken a banana. "Did you ask for that?"

She shook her head.

"Honey, that was wrong. We call that sin when we do things we know are wrong." I took C-C back inside and explained.

"Why that's horrible," the wife said. "You can't call a young child a sinner. She doesn't know what it means."

"She's learning," I said, not wanting to make a major crime out of her action. But she had stolen, and as her father, I wanted her to be aware of her actions and the consequences of her deed.

Looking back, I may have induced more guilt than my children needed, and sometimes I acted arbitrarily. I may have become too concerned over trivial things and ignored weightier issues. My only response is that I acted with the best wisdom I had.

That's what separates our ways from God's. We're not perfect. As children, we may resent the actions or inconsistencies of our parents. Yet once we become parents, we understand a little more of God's discipline in our lives.

The Divine Discipliner nudges, urges, and even punishes us--whatever it takes--to move us along the road of obedience. "We know God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. They are the ones God has chosen for his purpose, and he has always known who his chosen ones would be. He had decided to let them become like his own Son, so that his Son would be the first of many children" (Rom 8:28-29, CEV). That's God's ultimate purpose at work in us.

Yet when God slaps my fingers, I usually don't see that as part of the divine plan for my life. Sometimes I don't think I did anything wrong and can't see the long-term effects of God's actions or purpose.

One of the things I've learned about the Divine Discipliner came when I overheard a father and his little boy when they visited us. The child wanted his father to do something for him and his dad said no. The son demanded loudly. The father got down on his haunches until he was at eye level. "I love you, Robbie. That's why I said no." He put one arm around the boy and held him while he used his other arm to take out his handkerchief and wipe away the child's tears.

That was one of the best examples of parenting I've ever seen. Maybe the verses in Hebrews chapter twelve are meant to say essentially the same thing to us. "I'm doing this because I love you," God is saying. "Even if you don't understand or don't agree, please trust me that it's for your good."

I'm getting the message, but then I wonder how I should pray to the Divine Discipliner. I'm not crazy enough to ask for God to make things tough for me. Yet I do want to be as much like Jesus Christ as it's possible for me to become.
That means accepting holy correction when it comes. In my praying to the Divine Discipliner, I've asked, "God, make me everything you want me to be and do whatever it takes to make me conform." I ask the Divine Discipliner to show me how to make the right decisions, to do the things that honor God and lead to having God's ultimate purpose fulfilled in me.

On occasion, I've felt like the boy whose parent has just denied him something he's wanted badly. It hurts-really hurts-to face disappointments, to work hard and have it fall apart, to throw myself into something and have a coworker get the promotion or credit instead of me.

I have to remind myself that God's arm is around my shoulder, that the Loving Discipliner is wiping away my tears. In those moments of pain and self-pity, I keep reminding myself, God loves me. God is doing this to make me more like Jesus.

That doesn't take away the pain, but it does help me realize that God truly cares. It gives me a spiritual boost when I think that God slapped my wrist out of love. God's discipline in my life assures me that God has accepted me and won't allow me to settle for less than the divine, ultimate plan for my life.

At times, I've resisted, like Peter did at the Last Supper when Jesus wanted to wash his feet. He refused, but Jesus told him that if he didn't submit he wouldn't have any part of him. So Peter said, "Then don't stop with just my feet. Wash my whole body."

That's what I pray for-total discipline by the divine hand. I still don't like it; it hurts when God tells me no. Yet I choose to rejoice every time the Divine Discipliner works in me.

Discipline me, O God, discipline me.

Our human fathers correct us for a short time, and they do it as they think best. But God corrects us for our own good, because he wants us to be holy, as he is. It is never fun to be corrected. In fact, at the time it is always painful. But if we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at peace. --HEBREWS 12:10-11, CEV
My child, don't turn away or become bitter when the LORD corrects you. The LORD corrects everyone he loves, just as parents correct their favorite child. --PROVERBS 3:11-12, CEV

Divine Discipliner, when you punish meI moan and wail,I question your love and your actions. Forgive me,and help me understand you are manifestingyour parental love for me. Remind me of that again and againuntil the time comes when I can say in themidst of disappointments,"Thanks, God, for loving me enough to stop me." Amen.

C4

2007-11-26T12:13:00.000+08:00

On 22 July 2007, I posted a blog entry with the heading "Hang on tight, C4ians.. God is going to move in the midst of us; a mighty wave is coming.. "

God did move mightily those days. For almost every Sundays then, we could see God moving.

Then I think somehow the fire died. Somehow the absence of God was felt, rather than the presence of God. Just last week, I was actually angry with the people of C4 during worship. Most of them were not responding. Granted that the WL was Willy, granted that Willy almost never ask the congregation to stand, but even if sitting, when worshipping the King of all kings, how can they not respond? Like what Serene once told me, "How dare they sit during worship? Dun they know they are worshipping the King of Majesty? The King of all kings?"

What she said left a deep impression in me. I began to realise that we shouldn't allow our guilt, our pride, our emotions to hinder us from worship. Worship is all about Him, not us. It's not abt what we have done wrong or not done; but it's about giving Him the glory that He deserves.

Having said that, yesterday's worship was great. I feel relieved knowing that God did not pass us by. As I reflect upon it, there is indeed a stirring in C4. It is subtle but truly n surely, God is moving. I, for one, am guilty of expecting God to move in certain ways to show us that He is indeed moving. I expect Him to do this and do that, then I will believe He has moved. But who am I to tell God what He should or should not do? He alone is God and His ways are always always the best.

I stand by my claim that God is moving in C4. I can see the desire in some of C4ians hearts that something has to be done in C4, regarding our communion with God. We are praying more, we are crying out to God more for His touch. Yes, C4 has its problems and sometimes we may see that there is no way to get rid of them. But the God of C4 is also the God of all. He will and can move mountians.

the 80th Big Birthday

2007-11-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

16th Nov.. Celebrated Ah Gong n Por's 80th birthday.. Uploaded the pics in Facebook...

Daniel 6

2007-11-12T04:47:00.000+08:00

Daniel 6
Daniel in the Den of Lions
1 It pleased Darius to appoint 120 satraps to rule throughout the kingdom, 2 with three administrators over them, one of whom was Daniel. The satraps were made accountable to them so that the king might not suffer loss. 3 Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. 4 At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent. 5 Finally these men said, "We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God."

6 So the administrators and the satraps went as a group to the king and said: "O King Darius, live forever! 7 The royal administrators, prefects, satraps, advisers and governors have all agreed that the king should issue an edict and enforce the decree that anyone who prays to any god or man during the next thirty days, except to you, O king, shall be thrown into the lions' den. 8 Now, O king, issue the decree and put it in writing so that it cannot be altered—in accordance with the laws of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed." 9 So King Darius put the decree in writing.

10 Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before. 11 Then these men went as a group and found Daniel praying and asking God for help. 12 So they went to the king and spoke to him about his royal decree: "Did you not publish a decree that during the next thirty days anyone who prays to any god or man except to you, O king, would be thrown into the lions' den?" The king answered, "The decree stands—in accordance with the laws of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed."
Lesson: Despite knowing he would be killed for praying to God, Daniel continued praying and to give thanks! Give thanks in spite of circumstances!

13 Then they said to the king, "Daniel, who is one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to you, O king, or to the decree you put in writing. He still prays three times a day." 14 When the king heard this, he was greatly distressed; he was determined to rescue Daniel and made every effort until sundown to save him.

15 Then the men went as a group to the king and said to him, "Remember, O king, that according to the law of the Medes and Persians no decree or edict that the king issues can be changed."

16 So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions' den. The king said to Daniel, "May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!"

17 A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel's situation might not be changed. 18 Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep.

19 At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions' den. 20 When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, "Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?"

21 Daniel answered, "O king, live forever! 22 My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king."

23 The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.

24 At the king's command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions' den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones.

25 Then King Darius wrote to all the peoples, nations and men of every language throughout the land: "May you prosper greatly!

26 "I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. "For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end.
27 He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions."

28 So Daniel prospered during the reign of Darius and the reign of Cyrus [a] the Persian.
Lesson: King Darius acknowledged and knew about the power of God. He knew He existed and therefore, was afraid of killing Daniel. Perhaps Darius thought that God is only one of the many gods. (A custom of old times? many gods?) God's soveriegnity cannot be denied.

Daniel 5

2007-11-12T04:44:00.000+08:00

Daniel 5
The Writing on the Wall
1 King Belshazzar gave a great banquet for a thousand of his nobles and drank wine with them. 2 While Belshazzar was drinking his wine, he gave orders to bring in the gold and silver goblets that Nebuchadnezzar his father [a] had taken from the temple in Jerusalem, so that the king and his nobles, his wives and his concubines might drink from them. 3 So they brought in the gold goblets that had been taken from the temple of God in Jerusalem, and the king and his nobles, his wives and his concubines drank from them. 4 As they drank the wine, they praised the gods of gold and silver, of bronze, iron, wood and stone.

5 Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. The king watched the hand as it wrote. 6 His face turned pale and he was so frightened that his knees knocked together and his legs gave way.

7 The king called out for the enchanters, astrologers [b] and diviners to be brought and said to these wise men of Babylon, "Whoever reads this writing and tells me what it means will be clothed in purple and have a gold chain placed around his neck, and he will be made the third highest ruler in the kingdom."

8 Then all the king's wise men came in, but they could not read the writing or tell the king what it meant. 9 So King Belshazzar became even more terrified and his face grew more pale. His nobles were baffled.

10 The queen, [c] hearing the voices of the king and his nobles, came into the banquet hall. "O king, live forever!" she said. "Don't be alarmed! Don't look so pale! 11 There is a man in your kingdom who has the spirit of the holy gods in him. In the time of your father he was found to have insight and intelligence and wisdom like that of the gods. King Nebuchadnezzar your father—your father the king, I say—appointed him chief of the magicians, enchanters, astrologers and diviners. 12 This man Daniel, whom the king called Belteshazzar, was found to have a keen mind and knowledge and understanding, and also the ability to interpret dreams, explain riddles and solve difficult problems. Call for Daniel, and he will tell you what the writing means."

13 So Daniel was brought before the king, and the king said to him, "Are you Daniel, one of the exiles my father the king brought from Judah? 14 I have heard that the spirit of the gods is in you and that you have insight, intelligence and outstanding wisdom. 15 The wise men and enchanters were brought before me to read this writing and tell me what it means, but they could not explain it. 16 Now I have heard that you are able to give interpretations and to solve difficult problems. If you can read this writing and tell me what it means, you will be clothed in purple and have a gold chain placed around your neck, and you will be made the third highest ruler in the kingdom."

17 Then Daniel answered the king, "You may keep your gifts for yourself and give your rewards to someone else. Nevertheless, I will read the writing for the king and tell him what it means.
Lesson: Do things without asking for reward.

18 "O king, the Most High God gave your father Nebuchadnezzar sovereignty and greatness and glory and splendor. 19 Because of the high position he gave him, all the peoples and nations and men of every language dreaded and feared him. Those the king wanted to put to death, he put to death; those he wanted to spare, he spared; those he wanted to promote, he promoted; and those he wanted to humble, he humbled. 20 But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory. 21 He was driven away from people and given the mind of an animal; he lived with the wild donkeys and ate grass like cattle; and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he acknowledged that the Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and sets over them anyone he wishes.

22 "But you his son, [d] O Belshazzar, have not humbled yourself, though you knew all this. 23 Instead, you have set yourself up against the Lord of heaven. You had the goblets from his temple brought to you, and you and your nobles, your wives and your concubines drank wine from them. You praised the gods of silver and gold, of bronze, iron, wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or understand. But you did not honor the God who holds in his hand your life and all your ways. 24 Therefore he sent the hand that wrote the inscription.

25 "This is the inscription that was written: Mene , Mene , Tekel , Parsin [e]
26 "This is what these words mean: Mene [f] : God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.
27 Tekel [g] : You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.
28 Peres [h] : Your kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians."

29 Then at Belshazzar's command, Daniel was clothed in purple, a gold chain was placed around his neck, and he was proclaimed the third highest ruler in the kingdom.

30 That very night Belshazzar, king of the Babylonians, [i] was slain, 31 and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom, at the age of sixty-two.

Daniel 4

2007-11-12T04:39:00.000+08:00

Daniel 4
Nebuchadnezzar's Dream of a Tree
1 King Nebuchadnezzar, To the peoples, nations and men of every language, who live in all the world: May you prosper greatly!

2 It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me.

3 How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation.

4 I, Nebuchadnezzar, was at home in my palace, contented and prosperous. 5 I had a dream that made me afraid. As I was lying in my bed, the images and visions that passed through my mind terrified me. 6 So I commanded that all the wise men of Babylon be brought before me to interpret the dream for me. 7 When the magicians, enchanters, astrologers [a] and diviners came, I told them the dream, but they could not interpret it for me. 8 Finally, Daniel came into my presence and I told him the dream. (He is called Belteshazzar, after the name of my god, and the spirit of the holy gods is in him.)

9 I said, "Belteshazzar, chief of the magicians, I know that the spirit of the holy gods is in you, and no mystery is too difficult for you. Here is my dream; interpret it for me. 10 These are the visions I saw while lying in my bed: I looked, and there before me stood a tree in the middle of the land. Its height was enormous. 11 The tree grew large and strong and its top touched the sky; it was visible to the ends of the earth. 12 Its leaves were beautiful, its fruit abundant, and on it was food for all. Under it the beasts of the field found shelter, and the birds of the air lived in its branches; from it every creature was fed.

13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, [b] a holy one, coming down from heaven. 14 He called in a loud voice: 'Cut down the tree and trim off its branches; strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit. Let the animals flee from under it and the birds from its branches. 15 But let the stump and its roots, bound with iron and bronze, remain in the ground, in the grass of the field. " 'Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven, and let him live with the animals among the plants of the earth. 16 Let his mind be changed from that of a man and let him be given the mind of an animal, till seven times [c] pass by for him.

17 " 'The decision is announced by messengers, the holy ones declare the verdict, so that the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men.'

18 "This is the dream that I, King Nebuchadnezzar, had. Now, Belteshazzar, tell me what it means, for none of the wise men in my kingdom can interpret it for me. But you can, because the spirit of the holy gods is in you."

Daniel Interprets the Dream
19 Then Daniel (also called Belteshazzar) was greatly perplexed for a time, and his thoughts terrified him. So the king said, "Belteshazzar, do not let the dream or its meaning alarm you." Belteshazzar answered, "My lord, if only the dream applied to your enemies and its meaning to your adversaries! 20 The tree you saw, which grew large and strong, with its top touching the sky, visible to the whole earth, 21 with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the beasts of the field, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds of the air- 22 you, O king, are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth.
Lesson: Daniel did get scared at times too. So it is ok to be scared and hence, shouldn't blame myself too much for my emotions.

23 "You, O king, saw a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven and saying, 'Cut down the tree and destroy it, but leave the stump, bound with iron and bronze, in the grass of the field, while its roots remain in the ground. Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven; let him live like the wild animals, until seven times pass by for him.'

24 "This is the interpretation, O king, and this is the decree the Most High has issued against my lord the king: 25 You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle and be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes. 26 The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that Heaven rules. 27 Therefore, O king, be pleased to accept my advice: Renounce your sins by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed. It may be that then your prosperity will continue."

The Dream Is Fulfilled
28 All this happened to King Nebuchadnezzar. 29 Twelve months later, as the king was walking on the roof of the royal palace of Babylon, 30 he said, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?"

31 The words were still on his lips when a voice came from heaven, "This is what is decreed for you, King Nebuchadnezzar: Your royal authority has been taken from you. 32 You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes."

33 Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like cattle. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird.

34 At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
Lesson: To restore sanity, acknowledge God's sovereignity.

35 All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have you done?"

36 At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before. 37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

Daniel 3

2007-11-12T04:36:00.000+08:00

Daniel 3
The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace
1 King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet [a] wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. 3 So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.

4 Then the herald loudly proclaimed, "This is what you are commanded to do, O peoples, nations and men of every language: 5 As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. 6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace."

7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

8 At this time some astrologers [b] came forward and denounced the Jews. 9 They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "O king, live forever! 10 You have issued a decree, O king, that everyone who hears the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music must fall down and worship the image of gold, 11 and that whoever does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a blazing furnace. 12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon—Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up."

13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?"

16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
Lesson: Believe God will deliver in times of trouble. But even if He does not, I will not dishonour God.

19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21 So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22 The king's command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23 and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?" They replied, "Certainly, O king."

25 He said, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods."

26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!" So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way."

30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.

Daniel 2

2007-11-12T04:30:00.000+08:00

Daniel 2
Nebuchadnezzar's Dream

1 In the second year of his reign, Nebuchadnezzar had dreams; his mind was troubled and he could not sleep. 2 So the king summoned the magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers [a] to tell him what he had dreamed. When they came in and stood before the king, 3 he said to them, "I have had a dream that troubles me and I want to know what it means. [b] "

4 Then the astrologers answered the king in Aramaic, [c] "O king, live forever! Tell your servants the dream, and we will interpret it."

5 The king replied to the astrologers, "This is what I have firmly decided: If you do not tell me what my dream was and interpret it, I will have you cut into pieces and your houses turned into piles of rubble. 6 But if you tell me the dream and explain it, you will receive from me gifts and rewards and great honor. So tell me the dream and interpret it for me."

7 Once more they replied, "Let the king tell his servants the dream, and we will interpret it."

8 Then the king answered, "I am certain that you are trying to gain time, because you realize that this is what I have firmly decided: 9 If you do not tell me the dream, there is just one penalty for you. You have conspired to tell me misleading and wicked things, hoping the situation will change. So then, tell me the dream, and I will know that you can interpret it for me."

10 The astrologers answered the king, "There is not a man on earth who can do what the king asks! No king, however great and mighty, has ever asked such a thing of any magician or enchanter or astrologer. 11 What the king asks is too difficult. No one can reveal it to the king except the gods, and they do not live among men."

12 This made the king so angry and furious that he ordered the execution of all the wise men of Babylon. 13 So the decree was issued to put the wise men to death, and men were sent to look for Daniel and his friends to put them to death.

14 When Arioch, the commander of the king's guard, had gone out to put to death the wise men of Babylon, Daniel spoke to him with wisdom and tact. 15 He asked the king's officer, "Why did the king issue such a harsh decree?" Arioch then explained the matter to Daniel. 16 At this, Daniel went in to the king and asked for time, so that he might interpret the dream for him.
Lesson: In the face of death, Daniel didn't lose his cool and yet, responded with wisdom and tact. Therefore, when I am faced with sudden and hard lessons, I should not lose my cool.

17 Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 18 He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. 19 During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven 20 and said: "Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his.

21 He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

22 He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.

23 I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king."

Daniel Interprets the Dream

24 Then Daniel went to Arioch, whom the king had appointed to execute the wise men of Babylon, and said to him, "Do not execute the wise men of Babylon. Take me to the king, and I will interpret his dream for him."

25 Arioch took Daniel to the king at once and said, "I have found a man among the exiles from Judah who can tell the king what his dream means."

26 The king asked Daniel (also called Belteshazzar), "Are you able to tell me what I saw in my dream and interpret it?"

27 Daniel replied, "No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, 28 but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries. He has shown King Nebuchadnezzar what will happen in days to come. Your dream and the visions that passed through your mind as you lay on your bed are these:
Lesson: Giving credit to God

29 "As you were lying there, O king, your mind turned to things to come, and the revealer of mysteries showed you what is going to happen. 30 As for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because I have greater wisdom than other living men, but so that you, O king, may know the interpretation and that you may understand what went through your mind.

31 "You looked, O king, and there before you stood a large statue—an enormous, dazzling statue, awesome in appearance. 32 The head of the statue was made of pure gold, its chest and arms of silver, its belly and thighs of bronze, 33 its legs of iron, its feet partly of iron and partly of baked clay. 34 While you were watching, a rock was cut out, but not by human hands. It struck the statue on its feet of iron and clay and smashed them. 35 Then the iron, the clay, the bronze, the silver and the gold were broken to pieces at the same time and became like chaff on a threshing floor in the summer. The wind swept them away without leaving a trace. But the rock that struck the statue became a huge mountain and filled the whole earth.

36 "This was the dream, and now we will interpret it to the king. 37 You, O king, are the king of kings. The God of heaven has given you dominion and power and might and glory; 38 in your hands he has placed mankind and the beasts of the field and the birds of the air. Wherever they live, he has made you ruler over them all. You are that head of gold.

39 "After you, another kingdom will rise, inferior to yours. Next, a third kingdom, one of bronze, will rule over the whole earth. 40 Finally, there will be a fourth kingdom, strong as iron—for iron breaks and smashes everything—and as iron breaks things to pieces, so it will crush and break all the others. 41 Just as you saw that the feet and toes were partly of baked clay and partly of iron, so this will be a divided kingdom; yet it will have some of the strength of iron in it, even as you saw iron mixed with clay. 42 As the toes were partly iron and partly clay, so this kingdom will be partly strong and partly brittle. 43 And just as you saw the iron mixed with baked clay, so the people will be a mixture and will not remain united, any more than iron mixes with clay.

44 "In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever. 45 This is the meaning of the vision of the rock cut out of a mountain, but not by human hands—a rock that broke the iron, the bronze, the clay, the silver and the gold to pieces. "The great God has shown the king what will take place in the future. The dream is true and the interpretation is trustworthy."

46 Then King Nebuchadnezzar fell prostrate before Daniel and paid him honor and ordered that an offering and incense be presented to him. 47 The king said to Daniel, "Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery."

48 Then the king placed Daniel in a high position and lavished many gifts on him. He made him ruler over the entire province of Babylon and placed him in charge of all its wise men. 49 Moreover, at Daniel's request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego administrators over the province of Babylon, while Daniel himself remained at the royal court.

Reading the Book of Daniel

2007-11-12T04:14:00.000+08:00

Started to read the Book of Daniel; a chapter a day. Seems to me that for every chapter, there's a lesson to be learnt for me. God's Word; the Rhema!

(Will be putting up what I learnt here for own reference. So many words. Dun think anyone will read. Ha...)

Daniel 1
Daniel's Training in Babylon
1 In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. 2 And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia [a] and put in the treasure house of his god.

3 Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring in some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility- 4 young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. [b] 5 The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king's table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king's service.
Lesson: Daniel had many good qualities and yet he remained humble and submissive to God, never ever credited his success to his good qualities. Therefore, I shall strive that too; have eyes for God only.

6 Among these were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 7 The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.

8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9 Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, 10 but the official told Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your [c] food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you."
Lesson: Despite everyone surrounding them enjoying the good royal food and wine, Daniel and his 4 friends didn't partake of them as they wanted to hnour God. The world is filled with common treads that may not be honouring God, everyone else seems to be doing them, even fellow Christians seem to be doing them too. (Daniel and his 4 friends were not the only pple taken from Israel. I believe there must be more but the bible didn't mention them not partaking the royal food and wine)It seems ok to do them. But if it is not God-houring, then don't, even if God doesn't not say explicitly that we shouldn't do them.

11 Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 12 "Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see." 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.

15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.
17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

18 At the end of the time set by the king to bring them in, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. 19 The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king's service. 20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.
Lesson: God honoured them cos they honoured Him. I dun think God honouring them was their motivation. It's most likely cos they love God.

21 And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus.

He works in ways I can never comprehend. His Words are like a double-edged sword.

2007-11-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

This is a response to an email I sent someone who I look up to as a spiritual leader. I have no words but that God does speak audio-ly.
(Names are deleted to protect the innocent.)

Hi XXX,

this is Jing Er. It's been a month since we talked. I must say that in this month, God is good, as always.

However, recently, I am feeling lost again, as you had predicted. I do really want to honour God in all things that I do. I do not understand why on some days, I can dare say I had lived out that day trumiphantly for Him and yet, the very next day, I feel defeated. It's like one day, I can feel the Holy Spirit by my side, talking to me and then, the next day, He's not there.

I feel as if there is a wall between God and I now. A contrite spirit, it's really what I am feeling. I feel lost and weary. It seems to me that I am living out what Paul said "Things I should do, I do not do. Things I should not do, I keep doing."

How do I live each day in His presence? How can I accept grace and
yet not take it for granted? How can I live totally dependent on Him?

XXX, I am sorry to bother you again. I just feel that I need spiritual
guidance in this and there is no one else I can talk to about this. I know I cannot carry on like this. I want to live my days for God. I want to be the clay the God is moulding. I want to be the person God made me to be.

Sorry again, for bothering you.

Jing Er

Hi Jing Er,

First of all, do not be apologetic for bothering me. I do not find you a bother at all. Instead I am glad that you share your feelings below withme. What I predict is from the Lord, because the Holy Spirit speaks through me - not because I am holy or great, but because I yield to Him. Just know this, my door (and YYY's) is always open for you. Don'tbe shy shy.

Secondly, do you remember what we talked about? Let me put it in another way. We have fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23), so we will never meet God's standard. in fact, until God gives us a new body (in the end days predicted in the book of Revelations) we have the propensity to sin against God. I too have my fair share of going back to the old sinful ways, of telling God that I would not walk this way, but walked it again and again. It is through this personal walk (which I am not proud of)that I learnt about God's forgiveness, and God's unconditional love. I also learnt that in order to receive His full and complete forgiveness, I must learn to forget about myself, my failings, and be contrite before Him. To receive His love means that you must die to your sins,shortcomings, and failings.

The wall that you feel is put there to remind you that God is holy, and you must be holy. But it is not a wall that you cannot climb over. But you cannot climn over it on your own, because we are saved not by our works (Eph 2:8-9) but by grace of God. You need a boost or lift - that is from Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Do not let you sins/imperfections/failings draw you away from God. This is why the devil wants. Do what God wants. He wants you to draw near to Him, - a brokenheart and contrite spirit He will not despise!. God reveals your shortcomings - not to humuliate you, but to teach you to deny yourself,take up the cross and follow Him. Remember what we shared - if you focus on your shortcomings and stray away from God, then, it is all about you. It is not about you. It is all about God. God forgives, God loves, God embraces, God moulds, God refines, God purifies, God sanctifies, God accepts. This is the great God that you know and have experienced. Know Him again. Experience Him again.

Thirdly, you are not on the wrong track because you felt contrite. You must now challenge your contrition towards God, and not aware from God. God gives us a conscience - not to torment us, but to draw us to God. To tell us that we need God for apart from Him, we can do nothing (John15:5). You will notice that I have cite a number of bible verses - not because I trying to show off. But because the Holy Spirit tells me that you need to the cleansing effect of God's words in these verses. God's words purfies. Read it, mediate on it, pray on it, believe it and act on it.

XXX

I just want to add that nobody in this world can honour God in everything he does, except Jesus when he came to Earth as man. So don't be too hard on yourself. I remember at the lunch that you said you seem unable to keep to the promises that you made to God. Le't forget all these promises because I believe that God is more interested in you than those promises.Since Jesus loves you, he said in Rev 3;20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in tohim and dine with him, and he with Me." So invite Jesus to come into yourheart again.

YYY

31st October

2007-10-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

The date I saw clearly in my dreams is approaching and nothing is happening.

Guess it was just a dream after all.

Anyway, I don't think I am ready just yet.

Oh well....

King Saul

2007-10-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

This lesson that I read from a book jerked me awake.

It is about King Saul. He was the first King of Israel, handpicked by God. But He disobeyed God deliberately by holding on to things God explictly told him to get rid of.

"Before we condemn Saul too harshly, let us assure ourselves that we have not been guilty of similar disobedience. We may be glad to be rid of disgraceful and degrading sins that hurt our self-esteem, but have we spared well-loved sins, favourite indulgences, or habits about which the Spirit of God has spoken to us time and again? In condemning Saul, we may be condemning ourselves."

It's OK

2007-10-08T15:58:00.000+08:00

(A poem I came up with after Willy read Psalm 51 yesterday)

It's ok to tell God we've erred.

He will not look down on us.

It's ok to face God just as we are, in our sinful self.

He will not condemn us.

It's ok to tell God we've wronged Him.

He will not turn His back on us.

It's ok to tell God we don't know how to pick the pieces up.

He will lift us up.

It's ok to think we are not good enough for God.

His grace is enough.

It's ok to not feel sorry enough for our sins.

He's not surprised by anything we do and yet He will never give up or walk away.

'You desire truth in the inward parts. A broken spirit and a contrite heart; Oh God, You will not despise.'

All He wants is just a sentence from us "God, I need You."

And He will come to us. cos 'The Lord is near to all who call upon Him'.

A Contrite Spirit

2007-10-06T03:09:00.000+08:00

'A Contrite Spirit' - the very words given to me by a preacher who came to my church more than 2 months ago.

Defintion of 'contrite':
filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent

These words given to me were not part of a sentence; neither were they elaborated on. Just these 3 words.

They came back to me quite often these few days. Cos it seems to me that I've always been doing things that might not please God these days.

I remembered I argued with Fen and Shaun on how I felt unhappy that the preacher gave me these 3 words. I wasn't ready to accept these words for myself cos I felt that 'am I not on the right track to a better relationship with God?' I just re-committed my life to Him and was feeling spiritually powerful and confident. It didn't seem to me that I would go back to my old ways again. Hence, I didn't feel the need to always be repentent. (Note the word 'always'. I'm not saying I thought I wouldn't do wrong again. But that I thought I would do more right than wrong. Hence, no need for the contrite spirit.

But as I think about it now, how wrong can I be? Nearly everyday these few days, I kneeled before God, asking for forgiveness, repenting. Just a few days ago, I was reminded of these 3 words - 'A Contrite Spirit'.

So the preacher was right after all. A contrite spirit did follow me after that day.

Without any doubt, those were God's words told to him for me. Though I couldn't understand then what on earth the significance of these words were to me then, now I know.

And I'm grateful cos I know for sure that God knows my future; what I will or will not do in the days/months/years to come.

And you know what, even though He knows that I will still be disobedient in the future, even though He sees that I will still break His heart at times in the future, He still chooses to reveal Himself to me. He still hasn't given up hope on me and loves me still the same.

"A broken spirit and a contrite heart; oh God, You will not despise" Psalm 51:17

My friends, this is the God I serve.

He is ever loving, ever quick to forgive, ever ready to run to us when we call...

And the truth shall set you free...

2007-10-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

The Haunting

2007-09-27T18:02:00.001+08:00

Dunno why.. But for the past few days, the past has been haunting me...

To Make This My One Desire

2007-09-25T20:09:00.000+08:00

To keep Your lovely face

Ever before my eyes

This is my prayer

Make it a srong desire

That in my secret heart

No other love competes

No rival throne survives

And I serve only You

Dear Lord Jesus,
let this be my one desire. Create in me a hunger for You so intense that it can never be satisified till I fill it with You.

Tired

2007-09-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

Tired.. I am very tired.. Tons of things to do and yet no mood and energy to do...

Supposed to be doing an essay now. But having writer's block.. (But hey, why no writer's block for blogging?) Ha...

Saw my sister in school today. She said I look exhausted. Went to the toilet to have a look. Yup. I do look exhausted. Super big dark eye-rings... And I saw a tiny pimple popping up.. Sigh...

And yet, Mel said I look better.. Siao..

Sigh... I used to look quite good..

This was me 3 months ago with Samantha...

Again...

2007-09-15T00:21:00.000+08:00

Again... Por is hospitalised..
Again... It is due to her chest pain...
Again... It is a Friday...
Again... It is after midnight that she got a bed...
Again... It is Juan and I staying overnight...

But not again will I lose my faith and trust in God...
Not again will I doubt Him...

Miracle Maker

2007-09-12T18:51:00.001+08:00

Was chatting with a friend on MSN just now. He made a very striking statement that I hope I can remember for life.

"When there is a great painting, people become in awe of it. But I rather be in awe of the painter Himself. "

This, I will strive to do. I should not be awed and be amazed by the great works God has done. Why should I? I should not be alarmed by this cos I should know for a fact that these works are nothing to God. He who had done great miracles in the past can do the excat same things since He is the same yesterday, today and forever...

I should give glory to His name instead and be excited not at His works but at who He is...

Okie! Lemme put my faithless past behind and strive to know God more!

New Skin

2007-09-12T16:33:00.000+08:00

A new blogskin... a colourful one... A bit tired of the orangish n dull one..

Hey, some friends said that they cannot see my blog entries in this new one.. Is it true? Gimme feedback, ya?

An Update

2007-09-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

a photo taken during CNY this year

An update for those of you who are reading my blog, Por is much better now and can be discharged tomorrow!!!

God is good! Actually, come to think of it, I think God must be pretty upset that we were so lacked of faith to believe that God can actually heal Por. Though we were not giving God up or blaming Him, we were all like preparing for the worst, instead of having the faith to believe that Por will be healed. Sigh... Oh ye of little faith!

But God is good. I rememeber something I read during those weeks of scary moments... "It's not how great our faith is, it is how great our God is."

Sang this song yesterday in church. Spoke right to my heart, esp the words I've highlighted...

I Simply Live For You
by Hillsong United

Say the word and I will sing for You
Over oceans deep, I will follow
If each star was a song
And every breath of wind, praise
It would still fail by far to say
All my heart contains
I simply live, I simply live for You

Chorus:
As the glory of Your presence
Now fills this place
In worship, we will meet You face to face
There is nothing in this world
To which You can be compared
Glory on glory, praise upon praise
You bind the broken hearted
And save all my tears
By Your word, You set the captives free
There is nothing in this world
That You cannot do
I simply live, I simply live for You

Putting our Faith No Matter What

2007-09-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

Putting our Faith No Matter What
September 1st, 2007 5 Views
http://www.christianhub.com.sg/CHblog/2007/09/01/putting-our-faith-no-matter-what/

Our church is currently doing a series on Daniel and it’s always fascinating how God can use stories that you think you already know it all, to teach you or remind you of things. Recently, we were reading Daniel 3 and I was reminded of the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

King Nebuchadnezzar had created a golden image and demanded that everyone bowed down and worship it. The Bible says that these 3 men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused. According to the king’s (small caps in purpose) decree, anyone that refused to bow will be thrown into the fire. Here is the response of these 3 faithful men of God:

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, ‘O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnance, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.’ ”- Dan 3:16- 18

This is what faith is all about. Faith is what remains after all the acts and masks is stripped away. It is easy to say that we put our faith in God when things are going well, it is quite another thing when things around us start crumbling and we find ourselves on shaky ground. These 3 men were willing to put their lives where their faith is. They don’t merely profess to trust in God, then act it out and stake everything on their conviction. I wonder how many of us Christians in this present day and age of developed countries, who face no obvious persecution, can respond in the same manner as these men did.

But more than that, there is another small group of words that has ministered to me more than this is the words that come after their declaration of faith. It is the simple but so powerful words, ‘Even if God does not…’ I believe that these words alone is powerful enough to disarm any weapon that the enemy throws at us. While we trust God to deliver us from various trials and tribulations, we also need to recognize that God does not work within the boundaries of our limited understanding. Sure, we hope to get cured of cancer and who doesn’t want that unreasonable boss to be removed? But sometimes, our most desperate prayers do not get answered the way we hope. But we must still continue to do what is right.

Shadrach, Meschah and Abednego demonstrated this by saying that even if God does not save their physical bodies from the fire, it will still not change the fact that God knows best and that their faith in Him remains unwavering.

Are you going through some period of testing right now? Is the answer that you are praying for seemingly not coming? Perhaps we can learn a thing or two from these 3 men to not let our faith or actions be dependent on how things work out. Rather, continue to do what is right regardless, and God who sees these acts of faith will credit it unto you as righteousness.

Now complete this sentence if it is applicable to you as your present moment, “Even if God does not deliver me, I will ….” and ask God for strength to see it through regardless of what our physical eyes see.

A Fight Night

2007-08-31T03:54:00.000+08:00

It is 4am and it has been a night of fighting...

Fighting Sleep

I am seated at the waiting area of Ward 45 of SGH with Phengyi and Juan, staying overnight at the hospital for Por.

Fighting Thirst

Por is in ICA; not sleeping, yet again.
She is super thirsty as she has not drank water for more than 3 days. She is not allowed to, especially now when it is diagnosed that her kidneys are failing.
But how do I say no to my beloved grandma and deny her the very basic of life - water?

Fighting for Air

Por's lungs are weak.
Due to this reason, she cannot have an operation to make her better.
Due to this reason, she cannot breathe properly and need an oxygen mask.
Due to this reason, water from the glucose drip got into her lungs. Water in lungs - not a good thing..

Fighting for her Life

Her lungs are damaged.
Her kidneys are damaged.
Doctors cannot do futher and stronger (she can only do the most basic x-rays) scans to determine what excatly the problem is cos if they do, her kidneys will fail. And if they operate to see what the problem is, her lungs may not take it and she may die on the operating table. In the doc's own words, "If we don't operate, we're waiting for her to die. But if we operate, the chances of failure is much higher than that of success."

Fighting Fear

It has been a roller-coaster ride of feelings for me.
One moment the doctors said Por's life is in danger; the next moment they said her condition is improving; the next moment they said she has to go through a very risky procedure; the next moment they said she can skip that procedure as she is showing signs of recovery though not out of crucial period yet.
Bad news; good news; bad news; good news; worse news; better news...
Fear arises; then faith; then fear; then faith; then fear again and then faith again. Now fear cos I dunno what bad news the doctors might say next.

Actually, I have the faith in God;
not that He will heal Por completely (of cos it will be the best)
but I have the faith that all things are in God's hands.
I believe Por is His daughter too and He will not shortchange her. He has the best plan for her.
If He is willing, He will heal her completely and what a great testimony of His love!
But if it is not His will to heal her, then I believe she will go peacefully and my family will have no regrets. And that too, is a great testimony of His love cos He had given Por children, grandchildren and great-grandchild who love her very very much.
And most importantly, a husband who still loves and adores her after more than half a century of marriage...

But when people start to say negative things, my mind and faith wavers...

People say they dunno what to pray for anymore.
For God to heal or for God to end the suffering (but who would dare pray this cos who knows, it might mean that God will bring Por back to heaven?). Fear creeps into me, replacing the faith I had.

But, truth be told, if Por is to be healed, then let it be that she is healed completely but if not, then I rather God take her home than let her suffer here on earth. At least, I can be sure that she is going to be with Jesus, where there is no more pain.

Oh Lord, I believe and from now onwards, I will stand firm in my belief that You are good. And You are always good to Your children. You will never ever shortchange Your children. Be it unto us, according to Your will.

It is written that Jesus is the Living Water and whosoever drinks of it will never thrist again. I claim upon that promise right now and pray that You, dear Lord Jesus, will give this water to Por and get rid of the thrist in her. Let her now sleep in peace and comfort as Your hands hold her, and Your angels surround her. I know she is safe in You hands.

(Jing Er, God has been so real and good in your life. How can you ever doubt His love?)

Por

2007-08-28T01:02:00.001+08:00

Por, please please get well soon. We need you..

No Internet

2007-08-21T11:56:00.001+08:00

Hey all, no internet at my new place.. So no blogging for a while.. Take care all...

The Theology of Resting in God

2007-08-12T18:00:00.000+08:00

August 12, 2007

The Theology of Resting in God

Why are you fearful, O you of little faith? —Matthew 8:26

When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable. Yet our trust is only in God up to a certain point, then we turn back to the elementary panic-stricken prayers of those people who do not even know God. We come to our wits’ end, showing that we don’t have even the slightest amount of confidence in Him or in His sovereign control of the world. To us He seems to be asleep, and we can see nothing but giant, breaking waves on the sea ahead of us.

". . . O you of little faith!" What a stinging pain must have shot through the disciples as they surely thought to themselves, "We missed the mark again!" And what a sharp pain will go through us when we suddenly realize that we could have produced complete and utter joy in the heart of Jesus by remaining absolutely confident in Him, in spite of what we were facing.

There are times when there is no storm or crisis in our lives, and we do all that is humanly possible. But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him.

We have been talking quite a lot about sanctification, but what will be the result in our lives? It will be expressed in our lives as a peaceful resting in God, which means a total oneness with Him. And this oneness will make us not only blameless in His sight, but also a profound joy to Him.

God's Words for me today

2007-08-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

Matthew 11:28
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

God's Word

2007-08-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Good Things Must Wait

2007-08-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

The Big-Time Operator

Yes, I know God's conception of time varies greatly from mine. Yes, I know the verse that says with the Lord a thousand years is as a day. Yes, I know God takes the long-term view of temporal events, and my view is necessarily limited.

Sure, I know all that; I just don't like it very much.

As I've looked over my prayers in recent days, time plays a big role. I ask God to do something for me or for someone else. Once in a while I receive a wonderful sense of assurance that it's going to happen. Then what?

Right. The waiting starts. The waiting goes on ... and on.

When I pause to think about it, I'm right in line with the saints of old. Here are four examples.

First, when Abraham is seventy-five, God promises him a son. The man waits twenty-five years.

Second, Joseph receives dreams from God that assure him he's going to be the head man and his family will bow to him. From the time his big brothers throw him into a pit until the promise unfolds, something like twenty years transpires.

Third, Samuel secretly anoints David as the new king of Israel. The secrecy - or so it seems to me - implies haste. About forty years later, David finally receives his crown over Jerusalem. Then he waits another seven years until he becomes king of the entire nation.

Fourth, God tells Paul at his conversion that he will speak to kings. Nice wait for Paul. For three years he goes into the desert to get himself theologically straight. Then he waits another dozen years before he speaks to his first king.

Even knowing those examples, I've still begged, pleaded, and sometimes all but demanded that God do something now. However, it doesn't seem to have speeded up the divine time frame.

Over the years, I've learned a little about waiting, but not much. I still want God to answer my prayers, if not instantly, at least quickly.

Occasionally I've asked God to do things and said, "And please, do it by January 28." A few times God honored that request; most of the time, the Maker of Time has ignored my deadlines.

I've tried to connect with the Big-Time Operator on this issue. But we can't seem to find a point of agreement. I've tried every form of persuasion and manipulation I'm capable of. None of my methods work.

I'm finally learning-still in the beginning stage-to accept temporal things under the direction of the Big-Time Operator.

Here's one incident. One day I felt overwhelmed with more things to do than I could possibly get done within the next twenty-four hours. "Help me, God," I asked. "I have to figure out some way to juggle all these time demands."

Then, just as clear as if an audible voice had spoken, the Big-Time Operator whispered, "You have time to do everything you need to do."

How could I argue with that voice? The emphasis was on the word need. And that's where I focused.

I hear people who complain about "the tyranny of the urgent." That's how I had felt. Urgent things crowded all around me. Many of them weren't important; some I could choose to put off a day or two. I made a few decisions about how to respond to the screaming demands, and I actually did have enough time to do what I really had to accomplish that day. I felt better at the end of the day.

The urgent cries often creep up on me. The louder they get, the more I'm convinced I need to obey the frenzied cries and obey now From time to time I still need to remind myself of that statement: "You have time to do everything you need to do."

Another area the Big-Time Operator and I wrestle with is God's slow counting, or so it seems to me. A preacher once told me, "God is never in a hurry, but he's always on time." Great answer, but not very comforting when I'm praying, "Hurry up, God, hurry up." I struggle to accept God's concept of "on time."

Whenever I approach the Big-Time Operator, I have my watch and calendar firmly in mind. I want dates and times, but God refuses to be pinned down.

So what do I do?

I know what Abraham did. He waited twelve years, didn't see God's fulfillment take place, so he took Hagar as a concubine, a kind of second-class wife, impregnated her and got his son that way. But God said, "Sorry, Abe, that's not the son I meant. You have to wait a little longer." Another twelve years passed before the birth of Isaac.

So I know I don't want to take things into my own hands-at least not anymore. My mistake has been rushing ahead of God, and it has caused me a lot of problems. I'm a little more cautious than I used to be. I'm willing to wait, but it's a matter of ongoing prayer for me.

The other day I got really anxious about a personal matter for which I had been praying since 1985. I remembered a friend once said, "You know, in ten thousand years, you won't even remember this." The principle she wanted me to get, I think, was that the things I sweat today are soon forgotten.

I got a glimpse of this by reading through my old journals. I've been keeping yearly journals since 1972. It's painful to read pages of overwrought anxiety and concern. I agonized over one item in particular in my journal for over two weeks, every day. I had to laugh as I read it.

First, I had long forgotten the situation. Second, in 1978 it had seemed to be a life-or-death decision. Now it seems rather trivial. I felt embarrassed that I had allowed myself to get so worked up about a situation that I couldn't remember twenty years later.

As I review my past, I see how the Big-Time Operator worked in me, trying to teach me patience. When I was sixteen and wanted to date Lois, who turned me down, I had no way of knowing that I'd find the perfect wife years later after I had turned to Jesus Christ. When I felt God speak to me about going to Africa, I couldn't know that I would wait four years. My list is virtually endless. Unfortunately, I catch on slowly.

For me, the time factor comes down to two things. First, it's all right to ask. In many ways, I'm still the little kid who talks to Big Daddy, the Abba Father. I have no way of knowing how granting my request will affect anything else. How would I know that Abba Father has too much wisdom to give me what I want, or to give it to me then? But I still ask.

Second, it really is a matter of trust. A few times when I've asked and not received, especially when I had a calendar deadline, my spirits have plummeted. Many times I never did see a reason for something turning out the way it did, especially when I ended up getting a big no from God.

But my faith says, "God loves me; God loves the whole world; God does what is right and at the right time." I may not always like the way the Big-Time Operator functions in my world, but I love God enough that I'm learning to accept it with gratitude.

But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in Your hand. --PSALMS 31:14-15, NKJV

Big-Time Operator,
when I try to think of all the timing you're involved in
every hour of every day around the universe,
it goes beyond my comprehension.
When it comes to temporal matters,
I don't understand your timetable.
I do understand, though,
that you love me, and you don't withhold what I need.
That's enough for me to understand. Amen.

What do I need Faith in?

2007-08-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

I need to have faith that God will speak to me when I pray. Nope, correct that. I need to have faith that mountains will be moved when I pray. That even though I may not see it, I believe the mountains are moved.

And that prayer is not boring. Start praying, even when I don't feel like it, even when it seems to me that there are better and more interesting things to do.

Funny as anything

2007-08-02T21:51:00.000+08:00

If u r in ur 20-s this year, read this... http://yesterday.sg/detail/lifeinthe80s/

Funny as anything... Left me in stitches after reading...

FAITH

2007-08-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

"Faith is holding on to the faithfulness of God and, as long as you do that, you cannot go wrong. Faith does not look at the difficulties... Faith does not look at itself or at the person who is exercising it. Faith looks at God... Faith is interested in God only, and it talks about God and it praises God and it extols the virtues of God. The measure of the strength of a man's faith, always, is ultimately the measure of his knowledge of God... He knows God so well that he can rest on the knowledge. And it is the prayers of such a man that are answered." ~ D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Microwave Christians

2007-07-31T20:13:00.000+08:00

This morning in Sunday School David Langerfeld mentioned that there are too many “microwave Christians.” We want everything fast:

Fast spiritual growth
Fast answers to prayer
Fast solutions to our problems

But God doesn’t work on our schedule. David mentioned that Moses never got to enter the Promised Land during his lifetime. Because of his sin, God told him he would see the land but he would not enter it with his people. So he saw the land from Mt. Pisgah and soon thereafter he died. Now run the clock forward 1400 years. When Jesus was transfigured on the mountain in Galilee, who shows up by his side? Moses and Elijah. So Moses made it to the Promised Land after all. Just not the way he expected.

Our prayers will not all be answered before we die. That may be a disheartening fact until we remember that God is not bound by time the way we are. We see a tiny sliver of reality. God see the big picture, and he knows how all the details of what we call the past, present and the future interlock in a perfect tapestry of divine design. So while we pray in the present, God is already at work in the future, and sometimes the answer comes after we are in heaven with the Lord. But what may seem “late” to us is right on time in God’s schedule.

Microwave Christians get impatient with God when he doesn’t run the universe to fit their schedule. But he has already shown in creation that the things that endure take time to grow. Flowers bloom today and wither tomorrow, but mighty redwood trees takes centuries to reach maturity. In the 18^th century William Cowper caught this truth in a hymn called God Moves in a Mysterious Way. The last three verses remind us not to judge God by human standards:

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

Just as Moses finally saw the Promised Land, we too will finally see many answers to our prayers. Some we will see on earth; others we will see in heaven. When the time has fully come, whether on earth or in heaven, “he will make it plain,” and we will see that his plans have worked out for our good and his glory. Be patient, child of God, and do not rush the Lord. He won’t be rushed, and if we try, an upset stomach may be the reward for our impatience with the Almighty.

http://www.christianhub.com.sg/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=23&Itemid=34

Becoming Entirely His

2007-07-31T12:24:00.000+08:00

July 31, 2007

Becoming Entirely His

Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing —James 1:4

Many of us appear to be all right in general, but there are still some areas in which we are careless and lazy; it is not a matter of sin, but the remnants of our carnal life that tend to make us careless. Carelessness is an insult to the Holy Spirit. We should have no carelessness about us either in the way we worship God, or even in the way we eat and drink.

Not only must our relationship to God be right, but the outward expression of that relationship must also be right. Ultimately, God will allow nothing to escape; every detail of our lives is under His scrutiny. God will bring us back in countless ways to the same point over and over again. And He never tires of bringing us back to that one point until we learn the lesson, because His purpose is to produce the finished product. It may be a problem arising from our impulsive nature, but again and again, with the most persistent patience, God has brought us back to that one particular point. Or the problem may be our idle and wandering thinking, or our independent nature and self-interest. Through this process, God is trying to impress upon us the one thing that is not entirely right in our lives.

We have been having a wonderful time in our studies over the revealed truth of God’s redemption, and our hearts are perfect toward Him. And His wonderful work in us makes us know that overall we are right with Him. "Let patience have its perfect work . . . ." The Holy Spirit speaking through James said, "Now let your patience become a finished product." Beware of becoming careless over the small details of life and saying, "Oh, that will have to do for now." Whatever it may be, God will point it out with persistence until we become entirely His.

Sick again

2007-07-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

Aiyo.. Sick again.. High fever on and off for days.. Persistent cough for weeks..

I was afraid I might have gotten dengue when I broke out in rashes. So I went to see doc just now. Had to have a blood test. So painful when the needle went in.... But I thank God it is not dengue.

However, the condition is not any better. Bacterial inflammation of the respiratory system, whatever that means. 2 days MC. Doctor wants me to try out some antibiotics but if I do not get better, I have to get a chest scan next week.. Sounds scary..

But these few days, I think there is one lesson God is trying to teach me: to give thanks to God in ALL things, even if it doesn't make sense. I was reading Corrie Ten Boom's biography. God taught her to thank God under ALL circumstances. She even thanked God for the fleas when she was in the Nazi camp. Plus a few more incidents, I know God is teaching me this lesson. I will just do my part in praising and trusting Him and He will do the rest. So Lord, I thank You for my infirmity. I thank You for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corin 12:10