The date I saw clearly in my dreams is approaching and nothing is happening.

Guess it was just a dream after all.

Anyway, I don't think I am ready just yet.

Oh well....

This lesson that I read from a book jerked me awake.

It is about King Saul. He was the first King of Israel, handpicked by God. But He disobeyed God deliberately by holding on to things God explictly told him to get rid of.

"Before we condemn Saul too harshly, let us assure ourselves that we have not been guilty of similar disobedience. We may be glad to be rid of disgraceful and degrading sins that hurt our self-esteem, but have we spared well-loved sins, favourite indulgences, or habits about which the Spirit of God has spoken to us time and again? In condemning Saul, we may be condemning ourselves."

'A Contrite Spirit' - the very words given to me by a preacher who came to my church more than 2 months ago.

Defintion of 'contrite':
filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent

These words given to me were not part of a sentence; neither were they elaborated on. Just these 3 words.

They came back to me quite often these few days. Cos it seems to me that I've always been doing things that might not please God these days.

I remembered I argued with Fen and Shaun on how I felt unhappy that the preacher gave me these 3 words. I wasn't ready to accept these words for myself cos I felt that 'am I not on the right track to a better relationship with God?' I just re-committed my life to Him and was feeling spiritually powerful and confident. It didn't seem to me that I would go back to my old ways again. Hence, I didn't feel the need to always be repentent. (Note the word 'always'. I'm not saying I thought I wouldn't do wrong again. But that I thought I would do more right than wrong. Hence, no need for the contrite spirit.

But as I think about it now, how wrong can I be? Nearly everyday these few days, I kneeled before God, asking for forgiveness, repenting. Just a few days ago, I was reminded of these 3 words - 'A Contrite Spirit'.

So the preacher was right after all. A contrite spirit did follow me after that day.

Without any doubt, those were God's words told to him for me. Though I couldn't understand then what on earth the significance of these words were to me then, now I know.

And I'm grateful cos I know for sure that God knows my future; what I will or will not do in the days/months/years to come.

And you know what, even though He knows that I will still be disobedient in the future, even though He sees that I will still break His heart at times in the future, He still chooses to reveal Himself to me. He still hasn't given up hope on me and loves me still the same.

"A broken spirit and a contrite heart; oh God, You will not despise" Psalm 51:17

My friends, this is the God I serve.

He is ever loving, ever quick to forgive, ever ready to run to us when we call...