My soul..

Last week, it was during thanksgiving service on Sunday and the spiritual ambience was so sweet and powerful. I remembered very clearly I told God this: "Lord, this is the real me, isn't it? The Jing Er that You have in mind when You created me. The Jing Er whose main sole purpose is to worship You, to kneel at Your throne and gaze upon Your beauty. The Jing Er whose eyes are on You all the time. This is my soul, is it not? The soul that is untainted by the fallen world."

Oh, woe is me when I got out of Your courts and got thrown into the world again. Feelings of insecurity, negative thoughts, selfishness came rushing to me like nobody's business. I did things I know I shouldn't be doing. I pissed people I care about. Oh, woe is my flesh! Why are you above my soul! My flesh, this is not the real Jing Er. My soul is! Indeed! One day in Your courts is better than a thousand days outside!

But I thank You, Lord, that Your grace is sufficient for me. You are just so amazing beyond words. Your love for me is so overwhelming. I promise You in this year, I will do my utmost in putting my soul on. I will honour You in all I do. Not about me, but about You. This year, I want to make You proud. This year, I will say 'yes' to my soul and say 'no' to my flesh.