23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily,[a] and follow Me. 24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. (NKJ)

23-24Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. (The Msg)

Yes, isn't it so true? I really love the version from the Message.

I keep saying I want to follow Christ. But have I really been denying myself? If so, why do I keep wanting things my way? Why am I so persistent? Why can't I take 'no' for an answer? WHy do I go beserk when things don't go my way?

So Jing Er, deny yourself! If you are really determined to follow Christ, deny yourself! Let God lead! He is in the driver's seat! Hand the wheel over!

As I read this verse a few days ago (I was reading the NKJ version), I keep thinking to myself 'What does it mean to take up the cross?'

It says here in the Message version that it means suffering. Our pain. And we have to take it up daily. To me, this pain is my guilt, my shame, my past.

How to embrace that? Hurts like hell. Makes me want to hide when I confront my past. Makes me want to dig a deep hole and hide in it. But Jesus said that we shouldn't run from it. We should embrace it. How to do so? Well, the good news is that He doesn't tell us to deal with the pain alone. He said to follow Him and He will show me how. What a marvellous promise.

Dear Jesus,

I thank You for Your timely word to me. I thank You for sending Fanny to remind me that Your Word, the Bible, is the Number 1 Topseller in the world. And that it is a love story. It is a love story between You and me. It is not like the other love novels cos Your Book is the truth. It is personalised for me. I thank You so much for Your love. Lord, I want to follow You. I want to deny myself. I understand I have to take up my cross daily. Give me the strength and courage, Father. I know that You will not leave me alone in this quest of finding myself. You said that to find myself, my true self, I have to sacrifice myself. That is what I want to do. Father, I want to follow You. I want to. I really want to. You see this desire in my heart. Father, I want to pursue You like You pursue me.

In my Saviour's name,

Amen